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Kissing – The Five Secrets of Being An Excellent Kisser

Interesting topic. Girls need it, love it, guys like it for awhile (about 5 minutes…. )

Well, I like it. Always have. Always will. But unless you and your partner know how to kiss it can be an so-so experience.

In a recent poll that I read, 90% of women stated they wished their partner kissed them more or with more passion. In another poll of men and women, 65% of people interviewed felt their partner did not have a good kissing technique. If we extrapolate those figures we can see about 40% of men are not happy with their partner’s kissing technique either.

So what’s the deal?

Well the deal is, kissing is more than a physical act. At its height it is an expression of a mental/ emotional / spiritual / and physical bond.

So, girls,  have you ever have an orgasm just by kissing? Well if you haven’t you need to educate your man in the manly art of kissing. (For that you need to send them to – our men’s site.)

Now not everyone can have an orgasm just by kissing, but I have both had and given orgasms fully clothed – no bumping and grinding – just by kissing. (I have also both given and received orgasms fully clothed by “hugging” – but that is another article!) And if you can’t have an orgasm, no worry, anyone can achieve a very pleasant near-orgasmic state that can go on and on for hours that most prefer to an orgasm anyway.

The secret to being a good kisser, is:

1) have excellent hygiene – no one wants to kiss someone who smells or tastes bad…

2) finding the right partner who can mentally /emotionally /spiritually /physically bond with you (this doesn’t mean someone you can marry…even a one night stand could be a person that could mentally / emotionally / spiritually / physically bond with you for the moment.)

3) take your time, be relaxed and comfortable before beginning

4) use plenty of foreplay before kissing (yes, kissing has foreplay too) to create the mood for “kissing”.

5) don’t be in a rush to get to the next step and enjoy tantalizing and being tantalized by your lovers lips.

Now some people think that the secret to kissing is in the “technique”. You can find plenty of books on our site about “technique, but the truth of it is, if you have all of the above in place, you will find that you “naturally” know what to do…..and your actions will come naturally and not “awkwardly”….

Do you remember that first “Kiss” – that first “date”? Pretty awkward wasn’t it? That’s because we are all trying to do what we think we are suppose to do – maybe even what we see in the movies. But movies don’t really emulate real life, do they?

First rule if you are dating is, you don’t have to “Kiss” on a first date, or even kiss someone goodnight. And if you do kiss, it doesn’t have to be on the lips or a “nose clasher”. Kissing is perceived as “foreplay” and we all know “foreplay” especially for women is essential as a warm up to sex. But kissing is not the lowest gradient of foreplay and kissing on the lips is not the lowest gradient of kissing, so believe it or not there are “foreplay” gradients that are necessary sometimes to warm one up and get one ready for a simple kiss on the lips, and “French kissing?” Yeah, that is best led into with a little foreplay too.

What are the foreplay gradients that lead up to kissing?

Romantic talk, is one.  Hand holding, light touch (like touching someone on the arm or leg as you speak to them), footsies, brushing up against each other lightly as you walk. Hugging.

What kinds of kisses are foreplay to “lip smacking”? Light kisses on the hand, the wrist, the neck, the ear, the forehead, the top of the head, the side of the face – playful kisses from behind or the side or above. How does one kiss from above? Well obviously not when you are standing face to face in an embrace, but throughout the date – when you come back from the restroom and you are above and behind your date, you can take your hand and run it gently through your dates hair around the neck area and then plant a playful kiss on top of the head, or on the side of the cheek or the side of their neck.

The can take your dates hand while dining and holding it with both your hands raise it to your lips and lightly kiss their finger tips or back of the hand – do it slowly and sensually – one, two even three times, then put their hand back down and caress it with both of your hands.  Do this matter-of-factly as they talk. It is quite a flirt!

If you are walking together and your date walks towards something to look at ahead of you, you can catch up, caress them from behind and give them a nice sensual kiss on the side of the face, or neck, along with a warm gentle hug.

First Date?

Well if you are an experienced lover, the first date kiss is not the most important thing to shoot for. Talk, sensuality, comfort…when I judge a lover, I judge them in a comfortable setting. In a restaurant parking lot, etc. may not be a fair test…. I nice hug and a cheek kiss is a good start for a first date. The whole point of a first date is to get a second . Now it is a lot harder for a girl to scare a guy off then for a guy to scare a girl off, but if a girl is not sensual, if I am not attracted to her, if her breathe or skin smells, she might scare me off by being too quick to force a “kiss”.

Here is an example, I am not a smoker and say a girl is, and she if real forceful and wants to make out with me on a first date…..well I don’t know her that well and she is forceful and her breathe smells terrible and her saliva tastes terrible, well she may get a short make out session from me but not a second date. If the same girl took her time and I get to know her and I liked everything else about her, then I might be willing to work through the “smoking” issue with her… I might tell her the truth that it was a deal killer for me but if she was willing to give it up…I would hang in there while she works through it.

Most of my first dates don’t end in a scrumptious kiss, but ninety percent  of them do end in a second date…. Most of the time I don’t even begin to make out with a girl until the 3rd of 4th date. But having said that I am not a prude. I have gone “all the way” if things were right on a first date plenty of times. Every one is unique, and human interaction is unique. Sometimes things just happen….but never force them.

I have even had women and girls test me. I went out with this one girl once and our first two dates we just talked and got to know each other. Hug and cheek kiss goodnight. Then on the third date she said I was definitely a prospect but she had to know one thing about me. Then she said “kiss me” in the middle of the restaurant while we were eating dinner. So I did and we were together for about 4 years after that and had a very good mental/emotional/physical relationship. But the point of it is, kissing is important. It was one of the tests I had to pass, but that test came on the third date not the first….because what makes “kissing” good…. what makes “kissing” enjoyable is having the prior mental/ emotional/ spiritual / connection.

Now inexperienced lovers and teenagers will probably feel more pressure to kiss on a first date as that’s what they see in the movies. I certainly did when I was a teen. I felt that I was suppose to and I felt awkward I didn’t know how.  But in all actuality everything is better when you are relaxed and comfortable with what you are doing….even when you are a teenager and you have never done it before. That first kiss is much more enjoyable, less stressful, and comes more naturally when you are relaxed and comfortable with your partner and surroundings.

That first make out session

Sometimes a first date or third date or whatever, leads to a “test kiss or kisses” in a parking lot, or my car. Some people just want to see how you kiss as part of the interview process. Other times that first date or whatever leads to a full blown make-out session (or more) in the parking lot, or my car, but nine times out of ten that make-out session usually happens and is best experienced in a relaxed setting, that could be a dark corner or booth at a bar or club, in the back seat of a parked car,  or when you know someone well enough to go to their place or invite them to yours,

So how does that one to two hour first make out session come along….well usually we are both relaxed with each other, feeling a mental/spiritual/emotional bond of some sort mixed in with a physical attraction. We have had plenty of hand holding and light touching contact on our date and now we settle down in the living room or bedroom of one of our places, and the touch and light affection continues. Snuggling is initiated and at some point someone starts kissing someone lightly on the cheek or neck or hand but now it turns into a continuous action – for example, kissing and continuing to kiss a girl lightly on her face, her neck, her hand, her shoulder, and then lightly on the lips. The light lips kisses, move around again, the face, the lips the shoulder, the neck each time coming back to the lips for a longer and more passionate experience. As you “turn on” your partner with this sort of “teasing” technique and your are also turned on, kissing becomes more and more natural and less and less thought about what to do is involved. If you have developed some sort of mental/emotional/ spiritual bond with your partner, kissing becomes a coordinated “dance” where you each respond to the other’s motion, and if your partner is “physically” compatible – they smell and taste great- this becomes a very pleasurable romantic dance that can go on for hours and hours.

Now I should make a note that some people are just not physically compatible kissers. Some people’s body chemistry makes them smell or taste horrible to another. If you really like a person and you have the mental / emotional / spiritual connection too, sometime you can find a cure. I had one girl friend who was like that – she smelled and tasted horrible to me. But I really liked her. She had done a lot of drugs and I got her to do a detox program which got rid of the bad smell and taste. When you really like someone you will go that extra mile to make it work. When you don’t, you won’t.

What is the difference between the physical “turn on” from kissing and the emotional / spiritual/ mental / physical turn on from a real bonding with your partner? And how do you tell the difference?

Well when you are just being physically turned on by the sexual activity – you will find yourself either ready to move to the next stage very quickly or you partner is trying to move to the next stage very quickly before you are ready. You may also find yourself bored or irritated that your partner is continuing or trying to speed up the motion.

When you have the complete mental / emotional/ spiritual / physical experience down then you exist in a pleasure zone that you would be happy to maintain for ever….neither you nor you partner desires to move to the next stage….this is where “kissing” becomes orgasmic, as you find yourself in a zone that is so pleasurable you would be happy to maintain it forever.

Now anyone might feel that way no matter how bad it actually is the first time they are making out with someone they find really attractive. That would be sort of a “false” pleasure that will rapidly disappear if there is no mental / emotional / spiritual connection because you have achieved your goal. What I am talking about is a connection that even if you are five years into a relationship with your lover you will feel the exact same way. It is because of the mental / emotional /spiritual connection.

This result is long make-out sessions – hour or two – that are satisfying in themselves to the point of orgasm…. or the “dance” so to speak will move on to the next level from a mutual change of motion….no one hurrying or pushing the other to the next step.

I guess you could say this is the difference between “the sexual act” and “making love” – a difference that I have learned very few people experience – “making love” – even by kissing is a spiritually rewarding experience.

Unfortunately, some people never have this experience either kissing nor through the whole sex act. I myself had a relationship with my first girlfriend that lasted 4 years without ever experiencing anything but the physical orgasm. It wasn’t until I was divorced and met someone I was compatible with emotionally/ mentally/ spiritually that I experienced a real “orgasm” or “making love”. Until you have experienced it, it is a little hard to describe, and since a physical orgasm does in fact feel somewhat good, you can fool yourself into thinking you are having good sex. But if you find yourself trying to get it over with or have an orgasm to end it, then you probably aren’t experiencing “love making”.

When you have the mental / emotional / spiritual connection the interesting thing is you might still find yourself having an affectionate romantic relationship with this person during and even after a break up. The connection might still be there even though you are having other compatibility issues.

Whereas if you are only connected to this person physically, the physical relationship worsens as times goes by often resulting in no or very little romantic and physical contact

Sometimes people aren’t compatible lovers at first. But you don’t always have to hear “bells ringing” on that first kiss. If you have the mental  emotional / spiritual compatibility then you will have good communication and be able to evolve physical compatibility. One of my best lovers ever was someone who I didn’t click with physically for about six months. But we had the mental /emotional / spiritual bond and we continually evolved and improved our physical relationship until we evolved into splendidly compatible lovers. But if you don’t have this multi-faceted compatibility and you are just kissing someone because they are cute then you had better hear those bells go off right away because its not going to get any better…. and eventually even those bells will disappear.

Most couples, and most women I have talked to, who have had a physically based sexual experience only,  have reported that the sexual aspect of their relationship was not satisfying and slowly erodes into less and less satisfying activity. Often married couples only report having sex once a month or so, and “kissing”, well make out sessions will disappear when the courtship disappears. Take a look at the opening paragraph of this article again where I report that a recent poll of women shows 90% of women stated they wished their partner kissed them more or with more passion.

What does that tell you?

For a healthy relationship, courtship should never disappear. Whatever you did to attract your partner, you must continue to do forever. That is the only way to “create” a romantic relationship. Each member of the romantic team should find new and creative ways to continually court, flirt with, and romance their lover forever.

Most women I have talked to have reported to me that they did not experience orgasms for years after first having sex. And when a woman experiences the “love making” orgasm as opposed to the “physical” orgasm, I have been told it is on the order of 10 times better.

And most women that have experienced multiple orgasms with me as a result of “love making”, expressed surprise as they didn’t know they were capable of multiple orgasms – the myth, of course, is that women can’t have multiple orgasms. Well the truth is that both women and men can have multiple orgasms, but sadly most couples don’t really bother to “make love” because the spiritual /emotional / mental bond that can help stabilize and grow a physical relationship over time, was never there to begin with and instead the physical dynamic of the sex drive forces them to couple into relationships based on a physical need only, which being ultimately “not satisfying enough” results in a sexual activity that dwindles less and less over time, and sets very low standards for people who think they are having an enjoyable orgasms or “make-out” session.

Kissing and  the sex act….kissing is as important during the sex act as before. It enhances the spiritual connection and deepens the orgasm, but you should be cautioned that there are people who don’t like kissing that much during sex. I know women for example that get so focused on their orgasm that they don’t want any distractions…..and sometimes two people just don’t fit right making it too hard to both kiss and have sex at the same time. I discuss this more in other articles and books. So if you have a partner who is good with the “kissing” thing at every point up until this one…well just go with the flow.


Kissing and hugging are very important after play techniques. But many people – and I guess you girls probably know men are worse at this than women – forget all about “afterplay” .

Again the source of forgetting is not having a mental / emotional / spiritual and physical connection or bind with your partner in the first place. So once the “physical” act is done, it’s off to sleep or “see you later”. When you have this multi-faceted bond, you again are making love, you are in a zone that you do not want to end, you could kiss and hug your partner all night long….so after play is just a natural continuation of foreplay and the sex act, now after both partners have orgasmed, there is just a closeness that again is expressed by hugging and kissing, often times this “kissing” session can go for another hour or two.

I have had some partners where we consciously had to make rules about our love making other wise we would have never gotten any sleep. But even for married couples a good “love making” session – even if it does go all night long – once every week or two is a healthy way to continue and further your mental /emotional/ spiritual bond.

So “kissing” there you have it. My treatise on “kissing” for women.

But I know that 90% of you reading this aren’t currently being satisfied by your “kissing” partner. So you really ought to assess whether this is a person you have or potentially can have a mental/ emotional / spiritual / physical connection with because if you don’t you are never going to experience the joys of “kissing” and “love-making” so you ought to confront it now before it gets too late. But if you do have that kind of connection and it is just that your partner needs a little education…. then send him to where we teach men how to treat a women right – mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically.

Mr. L. Rx.

Posted in Articles, Love, Relationships.

“Boob Size” Survey Of Men’s Preferences

Well ladies, I’ve been surveying what men think about breast size and “sexy” on the website for men for a few months now. Here are the results so far (Questions asked are in red text):






Posted in Articles, Attract Men, Beauty, Surveys.

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How To Make Love To A Woman (For your boyfriends, husbands, and lovers to read!)

How To Make Love To A Woman


Now this article, girls, is for your boyfriends, husbands, lovers.  If he is not quite satisfying you or if you just want to add a little more spice and variety to your love life, send them here to read this article or to our men’s website where we have detailed information on sexual technique. We even have mini-courses like: “How To Be a Great Lover.” “How To Be a Great Kisser.” and “Everything You Ever wanted to Know about Sex Positions .” And some FREE eBook compilations (THAT’S RIGHT I SAID FREE!)  like Foreplay!  and 500 Romantic Ideas and Body Language and Tantric Sex (a good book for women to learn basic Tantric Sex techniques too) and How To Find A Woman’s G Spot . Sexual technique is again a topic worthy of a book and indeed many a book has been written on the subject – Including our books for men – Sex! written by myself, and The ancient treatise The Karma Sutra (edited by myself).

But right here in this article, I am going to give your guys some general pointers and an example. The example contains some basic principles even more basic then the techniques we have on the website.

Love-making is sensuality. It involves the whole body not just genitals.

Pre – Session

1)      Foreplay –  Foreplay begins way before the sex act and the love making session. Flirt with your woman all day and both of you will be real turned on when you are ready to engage.

2)      Sobriety – I was 28 before I ever made love sober. Making love sober is a must. Alcohol makes a man slightly flaccid. If you don’t believe me. Try it. Make love to your woman  sober and inebriated. Ask her which one she likes best. If everything else is equal she will always pick sober over inebriated. Why? Because she will tell you, you are a lot harder when you are sober.

3)      Cleanliness- Having been with a lot of women, it makes a big difference when someone is clean and smells nice. Keep your hygiene in. Take a shower, clean your teeth, use deodorant, gargle, etc.

Example of a sensual love making session your woman will enjoy.

1)      Foreplay – now this is direct sexual foreplay  – kissing, touching, petting, etc. You have to do foreplay for at least an hour.  Touch, kiss, caress her entire body – not just the genitals. Women have many erogenous zones in addition to their breasts and their clitoris – Lips, scalp, hair, ears, neck, inner thighs, butt, and the back.

2)      Every women is different but I work may way up the erogenous zones. Start off with kissing the lips lightly and gently, work into making out with deep French kissing, massage the scalp and play with the hair while you are kissing her. Use your hands while kissing to tantalize her whole body. Play with her hands, her toes, lightly stroke her arms, her back. Withdraw from French kissing after doing it for a while (30-60 minutes) and begin to kiss her entire body with her clothes on. Talk to her occasionally as you kiss her. Whisper sweat nothings in her ear. Tell her how much you love her. Tell her how beautiful she is to you. (Keep the light talking going throughout your love making session.) Kiss her neck, her shoulders,  pull her top down over her shoulder to kiss her shoulders, its sexy and she’ll like it. Lift her top up to kiss her stomach. Move all over her body kiss her legs, her thighs, kiss her shins and her feet. Roll her over and kiss the back of her neck, her back, her buttocks, her legs, etc.

3)      Now begin to undress her as you kiss her. Open her blouse and kiss her all over her chest and her stomach, kiss her on her bra, pull her bra strap off her shoulder and kiss her shoulders, pull her bra down a little and kiss the top of her breasts, pull it down a little more and lick her nipples,  pop her breasts out of her bra cup and such her nipples.  After a while place her breast back in her bra and move to another spot. If she is wearing pants undue her zipper, pull her pants open slightly around the zipper and kiss her around her waistline and her pubic area. Kiss her legs with her pants on, kiss her between the legs with her pants on. If she is wearing a dress or a skirt, lift her skirt up and kiss her legs and thighs, kiss her waistline and her pubic area, kiss her between her legs. – Then move down to her feet kissing every part of her body all the while.

4)      Flip her over. Kiss the back of her neck, lift her shirt up and kiss her back. Now undue her bra and kiss her back some more. Kiss her butt with her panties on. After a while, if she is wearing pants now it is time to take them off. Roll her over, and pull them off of her. If she is wearing a skirt take her panties off, but leave her skirt on.  Now it is time to start giving her some oral sex. Reach and withdraw. Give her some oral sex, then go back to some French kissing, now humping her with your body as you kiss her. Kiss and suck on her breasts again. If she has multiple orgasms now is the time to give her, her first orgasm. Give her oral sex while using your finger to massage her g-spot at the same time. If she is a single orgasm woman, turn her on with oral sex, but withdraw before she comes.

5)      Now it is time to take all her clothes off and remove yours. (Or she may have been doing that all along). Make sure she is still wet, go back to French kissing and kissing her all over her body while playing with her virgina and clitoris with your finger. Suck her breasts again. Lick her breasts and her stomach – Make sure her virgina is soaking wet before you enter. Now it is time to enter. ( I won’t go into positions – see “Everything You Ever wanted to Know about Sex Positions” for that –  as positions will be varied from time to time depending on our mood and the girl – different people fit better in different ways.)

6)      Enter slowly, caress her close to you, hug her, hold her. Do not enter all the way at first. Use short slow strokes and only insert an inch or so then withdraw. Set up a rhythm. Slowly enter deeper, working your way up to full deep thrusts over time.

7)      Pay attention to her body signals. Women come in different ways. Some get tight and hard all over when they are getting ready to come. Others get aggressive and change into a position that is easy for them to come in with you. Other get vocal, others start sweating. Everyone is different. Know your woman and know her signals.

8)      Know your timing. Are you trying to make love for hours or all night, or all you trying to give each of you an orgasm and then end your session. Or are you trying to give her (or both of you) multiple orgasms and then call it a night. If intending to go a long time or all night, reach and withdraw from the orgasm point, so as to not quite have an orgasm until you are ready to end. If you are trying to give her (or you) multiple orgasms then depending on how she has her multiple orgasms you may need to simply keep yourself from coming until she has her orgasms. (See “How to make Sex last Longer“) or you may give her (or you) an orgasm then withdraw from sex for a while talking or playing while hugging or caressing until ready to start again. Or you may simply revert to AfterPlay until she is wet and you are hard again (See AfterPlay below).

9)      AfterPlay – Don’t end your love making on an orgasm. Follow through. Show her you love her and it is not just about sex and orgasms. Wind down with some foreplay which is now called afterplay. Kissing, hugging, kissing all over, touching, caressing, kissing. End with kissing. If you are working on multiple orgasms, afterplay can turn into foreplay and set you up for another love-making session. But even after multiple orgasms and multiple love-making sessions you will always end the whole thing with afterplay.

That is a sample of how to make love to a woman. Of course, it is done spontaneously. It is not to be memorized like a zombie or done exactly the same each time. In order to keep a relationship fresh, you have to avoid routine and habit and try new and varied techniques. But the things each of your love making sessions should always have in common are:

1)      Sensuality

2)      Lots of foreplay and afterplay

3)      Use your whole body and make love to your partners whole body.

4)      Lots of kissing.

5)      Observation – get to know your partners body and how it works.

6)      Communicate – talk to her as you make love. Say sweat nothings as well as finding out what feels good and what doesn’t. (Also talk to her about sex, when you are not having sex. It is pre-session foreplay and it is a way of finding out what is needed or wanted.)

Mr L. Rx

(c) 2007 Dating To Relating, Inc.

Posted in Articles, Love.

Mr. L. Rx Conducting Interviews…

Don’t be surprised if you are in a mall or somewhere in public and a gentleman walks up to you and explains that he is an author working on his next book for women and would like to interview you.

NOTE: (In order not to be led astray, Mr. L. Rx will show you a private link on his main website ( with a picture of himself for confirmation. Note also that Mr. L. Rx is only conducting interviews in public places – so don’t run off anywhere with someone who is claiming to be Mr. L. Rx and can’t show you his picture posted on

He is conducting a series of random interviews with women all over the US and wherever he travels (even foreign countries) and he might just walk up to you.  The basic interview is just a number of survey questions but he needs to ask them in person as he also spots personality type while doing the survey. If you are interested please answer his questions. Participants in the basic interview will get a free copy of the book when it comes out and if Mr. L. Rx chooses you for an in-depth interview, that means there is something unique about you that Mr. L. Rx is interested in and he will ask you additional questions – off the cuff so to speak – perhaps about your relationship, your past experiences, your personality, your likes and dislikes, etc. – occasionally there may also be some set questions for the in-depth interview. Those who do the in-depth interview will get in addition a free half-hour (or more depending on the length of your interview) of personal consulting from Mr. L. Rx (worth $1000 or more) about any relationship questions, problems with men, etc. you have.

Participants in the in-depth interview will also have to sign the following release:

Interview Release

I understand that Mr L RX (the Author) is preparing, writing, and will publish a work on the subjects of Dating And Relating, which is currently titled “Dating To Relating – From A to Z – For Women”  (the Work).

In order to assist the Author in the preparation of the Work, I have agreed to be interviewed and to provide information and other materials to be used in connection with the Work, including my personal experiences, remarks, and recollections as well as any photographs and documents that I may choose to give to the Author (the Interview Materials).

I hereby grant and assign to the Author and his/her licensees, successors, and assigns the following rights in connection with the Interview Materials for use as part of the Work or any advertising, packaging, or promotional materials for the Work, in any and all editions, versions, and media, in perpetuity and throughout the world.

1. The right to quote or paraphrase all or any portion of the Interview Materials, and to generally use and publish the Interview Materials, including my experiences, recollections, incidents, remarks, dialogue, actions, and information, that I may give to the Author.

2. The right to my biographical data without releasing my name.

3. The right to develop, produce, distribute, advertise, promote, or otherwise exploit the Work as a book or any other Work in any manner that the Author or his/her assigns deems appropriate. I understand and acknowledge that the Author or his/her assigns will be the sole owner of all copyright and other rights in and to the Work.

In order to enable the Author to develop the Work in any manner that the Author may deem best, I hereby release and discharge the Author and his/her licensees, successors, and assigns, from any and all claims, demands, or causes of action that I may have against them by reason of anything contained in the Work, or any of the above uses, including any claims based on the right of privacy, the right of publicity, copyright, libel, defamation, or any other right.

In consideration of the foregoing, the Author has agreed to provide me with one free copy of the Work in its first edition upon publication and ____ hour(s) of personal relationship consulting. I acknowledge and agree that I am not entitled to receive any other form of payment from the Author and/or his/her licensees, successors, and assigns.

Agreed and confirmed:


__________________________________________      __________________

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Name (print)

If you are approached by Mr. L. Rx for an interview you will be given a link on his main website ( with a picture of himself for verification and a form to accept the above release. DO NOT CO-OPERATE WITH ANYONE WHO CANNOT FOLLOW THIS EXACT PROCEDURE as it will be fraudulent.  

Posted in News.

Feet, Personality Theory, Dating and Relationships

What have feet to do with personality theory and relationships?

Well I am sure there are people who can read every aspect of your feet. Just like palm readers do. I won’t even go into whether or not those are exact sciences or even true.

I’ve never even really looked into it.

But when it comes to relationships, one of the biggest problems is matching people of similar or compatible personality types.

As you may know, if you have been following my writings, I am a keen observer of things. As a young man who was was recently divorced, terrified I went to bars and clubs and through observation over months I eventually learned how to pick up women by personality type. 

On my men’s website, I talk about different personality types that I named “love girls,” “beautiful teases,” and “gradient girls” in many of my writings. Of course those were barroom terms and observations I made 30 years ago.

These days I use more sophisticated personality observation systems. Systems that help me tremendously in my every day life dealing with family, friends, and business associates as well as my love interests and potential love interest.

Most of what I observe, both then and now, has to do with motion and emotion and the actual products people produce.

Now, I’m not here to teach you about personality theory. And in fact, I won’t.

As a subject it is 100 times more complex than meeting, dating and relating to men. And there are others who have already documented workable personality technologies.

But the problem with most dating gurus is related to this personality topic. There are different types of men and different types of women. Different types of people relate differently. If you want to be successful in your dating strategies it is not something you can ignore.

Most dating gurus do ignore personality types, however. They lump all men or all women into one category and talk about what women think or what men feel, when the truth is the variation between personality types is much greater than the variation between the sexes.

In simple words, the reason you don’t feel like you understand men (or women if you are a man) has more to do with not understanding different personality types than it has to do with the differences between the sexes.

When you ignore personality types, “meeting” and “relating” advice becomes a low percentage game – strategies that work only 1 out of 10 times on the general population. (Even though they might work a higher percentage of times in a specific situation where you have an accumulation of a certain personality type – like bars and clubs.)

Observational strategies that take personality type into consideration work 8 or 9 times out of ten on the general population – in every situation. Quite a difference in the success rate. When you master personality types and situational dating and relating methods you become a master of this area. When you can get 8 or 9 out of 10 men that you target, you feel good and confident about your self.

So, as I see it, the problem comes down to this. Even if you are not a master of personality types, if you had a way to meet men who were compatible with your own personality type everything would flow pretty easy. You would pretty much know what to do, know what to say, etc. It would be natural.

The problem is the majority of guys don’t look at personality first, they look at bodies. So women are not attracting guys who are necessarily attracted to and compatible with their own personality. And if a woman does not know how to evaluate the “personality” of the man who is hitting up on her (or the man she targets to meet) then it is no surprise when months, or years latter they break up for incompatibility reasons or because someone is cheating or someone because they are unhappy with the relationship.

And when both women and men do look at personality they get confused. People in general have no systematic way of observing, understanding and predicting human behavior. So, often it takes six months after you meet a person to get through their “façade” or “social” personality before your mate will start showing you who they really are, and other times it is not even six months. It is a major event that occurs – moving in together, marriage, etc. – before your mate let’s down their guard and shows you who they really are.

The reason I became successful picking up women in bars and clubs 30 years ago, was I was able to spot personality types from certain patterns of motion that they exhibited. From that I was able to predict their behavior and apply situational strategies that led them straight into my arms.

Now for illustrative purposes only (I am sure you girls are not interested in “How T0 Pick Up Women In Bars And Clubs)  let me define a few of these personality types, that I originally observed in bars and clubs. They will come in handy for discussion and illustrative purposes later on in this article. Girls you know them, you probably have friends like this or maybe have even been like one of these yourselves.

The LOVE GIRLS – these was the girls who came into the bar usually late (about 11 or 12) and basically they were  looking for sex. They were great looking, confident women. They always walked in alone (NOT with a girl friend) and they walked slowly and sexily through the club.

They looked every man in their path directly in the eyes, but I observed the typical guy would get shy and embarrassed and would look away. He would then gulp down some alcohol and I could see him trying to build up his courage to go back at her. However, the Love Girls would move on and if no guy did the right thing she would walk through the club and then LEAVE. (She wanted sex and wasn’t going to waste time with a bunch of losers. She would just move on to the next club.) The only guys who left with these girls were they guys who would look them straight in the eyes when they confronted him (not look away in fear and gulp down a bear to build up his courage) and ask her to dance. They would dance, get sexy together, then leave together….

The BEAUTIFUL TEASES – These are the girls that flirt with men with a smile or a gaze or a wink from afar, but when the man responds and goes over to hit on them, they eventually go cold and after a while they would totally ignore him. (Only to flirt again the next day, or weekend that she sees him and repeat the cycle.) These teases leave  men totally confused. “After all,” he thinks  “how many women flirt with you, hit up on you? She has to like me, right?”  Well, these girls always had a cadre of frustrated men following them wherever they went, kissing their butts and confused.

I began to notice that the only guys who ever left with these teases, or ended up dating them, were the guys who totally ignored them, who seemed like they could care less.

The GRADIENT GIRL – These were the more common girls in the club whether with or without their friends. They are the girls who refuse to  dance with guys and turn down every guy who asks them. These are the girls who talk to a guy for a few sentences, make a sarcastic remark or put him down some other way then leave. These are the girls who guys wonder “Why is she here?” “Why did she come to the club if she doesn’t want to dance or meet guys?”

Well I was the only guy to leave with these girls and I did it by using something I observed and developed myself – “negative sex talk” – This is talking about not having sex, or not wanting to have sex, or talking about someone else who is into sex as creepy, disgusting, or characterizing them in some other negative way, etc. This is the lowest form of sexual flirtation or interest someone can show because they still ARE talking about sex. And they are talking about it with YOU. – GRADIENT GIRLS responded to Negative Sex talk, NOT Positive Sex Talk (“Do you want to Dance?” or “I noticed how pretty you were…”) A GRADIENT GIRL will Negative Sex Talk with a guy who knows how to do it  for hours….she won’t walk away….and at a certain point she’ll start really liking that guy and flip over to Positive Sex talk, and that’s when he asks her to dance, and that how he flirts and leaves with her….

Now what I am really trying to do with all my writings and giving you observations such as above, is teach men and women how to observe these kind of things for themselves. That is what will make you a master of this area. How you use your observations is up to you. 30 years ago my only interest was to use my observations to “pick up women” in bars and clubs. Today my observations are used to meet the right kind of women, and to hold relationships together with my love interest, family, friends, employees and others in my life.

But sometimes I can give men and women my observations which can act as short cuts to learning – I save you the time and effort it took me to learn it and just give you the bottom line of what to do- and I do when I can.

So here is one of those…

This is a shortcut to personality typing and spotting that you can learn and start applying in only a few minutes from now.

It is a way you can look at a man’s physical features from 10 or 20 feet away and determine a personality type in as little as a few seconds and know with a high degree of probability whether he is the right personality type for you or not.

But first a little history…

About two years ago I was visiting my chiropractor. I had an injury to one of my legs which kind of turned one of my feet outward. My natural feet angles where pretty much straight on – what I call 12 noon. If you were to look at a clock both my feet would be pointing to 12 noon on the clock dial. By definition there was no angle between my feet. They were parallel when I walked.

Because of my injury to my left leg, however, my left foot was pointing to about “6 minutes to 12 on a clock face” and my right foot was pointing at 12 noon when I walked.

I asked my chiropractor about this and I made a comment that I assumed that most people must walk with their feet pointing to 12 noon. He said that they didn’t and then he said something VERY, VERY INTERESTING. He said that the angle of the feet was controlled by a muscle and organ that had something to do with the emotion of “fear.”

Now, this interested me to no end, as the emotion of fear is something that I had observed and definitely played a role in personality types and typing.

I discussed it a little more with him, but in the end, I left his office with a hypothesis to test, “That the relative angle between the feet is a measure of the emotion of fear within a person.”

Now, “fear” is a very important emotion when it comes to personality typing. No “fear” makes a man or woman very brave. A little “fear” makes him or her conservative, a lot of “fear” makes him or her afraid and even more “fear” and he or she is terrified. If an angry person has “fear” mixed in with their anger, that angry person becomes “covert” (backstabbing – as he or she is afraid to attack you from the front) rather than “overt” (face-to-face) in his or her anger.

Interesting this thing called “fear.”

For example my “love girls” of the barroom days had “no fear.” In fact they were so brave they scared men.

The “beautiful teases,” were very afraid, they acted brave (apparent flirt) but then ran away at the first sign of real interest.

Those “gradient girls,” they just had a little fear – afraid men in bars were all just a bunch of jerks.

The strategies that I evolved to pick up these different types of women were pretty much molded to handle their different types or levels of relative “fear.”


After my talk with the chiropractor, I went back to the clubs and looked at a few examples of these “barroom” personality types with respect to this angle between the feet.

First let me give you a few definitions in case you don’t know what degrees and angles and other geometric terms are.


Let us use the face of a clock for an example. Look at the big hand and the little hand. They both start at the same point in the center of the dial, but the tips of the big hand and little hand point to different places. The two lines formed by the big hand and the little hand create an angle. The angle between them is measured geometrically in degrees.

A circle has 360 degrees. So in the clock example every minute would be a change of 6 degrees. So if we use 12 noon or 12 o’clock, the two hands are parallel and there is no angle, or 0 degrees.

When it is 12:05 on the clock, the hands create what is called a 30 degree angle. When it is 12:10  the two hands create a 60 degree angle. At 12:15 the two hands create a 90 degree angle and at 12:20 the two hands create a 120 degree angle.

Now the angles between human feet don’t get much wider than that. (though I have seen a few 12:12s ) So for our purposes let’s stop the geometry lesson here.

For our purposes though, I usually don’t refer to the angles between the feet as 12:15 etc. as one has to turn one’s head to see the angle correctly. If I am using the clock analogy, I usually refer to the feet positions as – left foot from 1 to 10 minutes before 12 noon or 12 noon if straight — and the right foot from 1 to 10 minutes after noon or 12 noon if straight — (i.e. left foot 5 minutes before noon, right foot five minutes after noon).

Let’s continue.

Now “Love Girls” tended to have perfectly straight feet (both feet pointed at 12 noon). Gradient girls typically have an angle between the feet of about 12 to 24 degrees  – left foot (1 or 2 minutes before noon) right foot (1 or 2 minutes after noon).

The beautiful teases typically had a angle of between 72 to 120 degrees between their feet – left foot (6 -10 minutes before noon) right foot (6-10 minutes after noon.)

Now when I say usually or tended I mean about 8 or 9 times out of ten. Or a correlation of 80-90 percent with the personality type. Now for those of you who know anything about correlation that is pretty high. That means you could make predictions about personality types and be right 8 or 9 times out of ten.


Does that mean everyone with straight feet are “love girls”? No. It doesn’t. No more than if I said college professors all tend to have a high IQ, would it mean that everyone with a high IQ was a college professor. Love Girls are just a small subset of people with straight feet.

What it means is that people with straight feet have little or no fear. Thus you will find them doing all kinds of things that exhibit little fear. They might be the kind of people that start their own business, or work on commission, or take other job or career risks that others might be to afraid to do. They might be the kind of people that will talk to anyone, share their real thoughts and opinions easily,  and say all kinds of personal things that others would be afraid to say out of embarrassment.

It could mean however, that if a girl with straight feet ever gets herself in a position where she is terribly horny, without a boyfriend, and the only thing she can think of is going to a bar with the intention of picking up some guy to get laid, well then she would most likely go about it like a “Love Girl” and NOT like a “Beautiful tease” or “Gradient Girl.”

But be careful how you interpret these things or it could get you in trouble.

Remember, feet angles give you the relative amount of fear. That is all we know for sure. Everything else is a correlation.

So let’s talk about fear for a second. There is situationally appropriate fear and generalized fear. Everyone – all personality types – should have situationally appropriate fear. So we all might feel some fear walking down some bad street with gangsters and hoodlums all around us late at night. We all might feel some fear trusting our life to some doctor performing an operation where only 50% of the people survive.

It is generalized fear – non situationally appropriate fear – that tells us more about personality type. Being shy and afraid to talk to women is a form of fear. Being afraid to talk to a bunch of people in front of a public speaking class is a form of fear. Being afraid to invest one’s money in a business venture is a form of fear. Being afraid to leave one’s nine to five job security to start your own business is a form of fear. Being afraid of the dark is a form of fear. Being afraid of the unknown is a form of fear. Being afraid of what your friends might think about something you say or do is a form of fear. Being afraid of looking ridiculous in front of your friends is a form of fear.

It is these generalized fears and non-situationally appropriate fears that determine personality type.

You see the “Love Girl” is confident and fearless. She isn’t afraid of men, so when she wants to get laid she walks into a bar knowing she’s sexy and knowing she can intimidate men. She just looks every man in the eye because she wants a confident fearless man – just like her.

The gradient girl is not as confident and fearless. She is afraid that most of the guys in bars are jerks. So she approaches the situation with that bias. She is not so afraid that she will run away from men who will approach her, but she will banter with them and just say, “No” when it comes to the real “pick up” moment because her fear biases her towards the viewpoint that men in this situation should be feared.

The “beautiful tease” is deathly afraid of men. She is in the bar because she is trying to overcome her fears. She is beautiful and has learned that men will respond to her, so she flirts to get attention and attraction which make her feel good. But as soon as some guy gets really interested, she runs away. She is deathly afraid and can’t confront it. It takes a guy who understand this and makes her feel totally safe and in control to seduce her. Such was the technique that I worked out 30 years ago.

So how do we use this “angle of the feet” observation to help you girls with your dating and relating problems.

Well there is one giant maxim that I am going to give you in a moment, but first let me say the way you use this is to make observations for yourself. I’m  not here to give you lessons in personality theory. Just know that there are different personality types that correlate with the “angles between the feet.”

Start by observing the angle of your own feet. Then observe the feet of the people that you know and observe similarities and differences in personality. Start out with major differences, Like people with straight feet versus people with very wide feet. See which angles you get along with best.

There is no right or wrong here, or good or bad. There is just compatibility.

So HERE is the GIANT MAXIM. (a truth or basic principle)

MAXIM:1 – You should not get into a relationship with anyone who is more than 2-3 minutes on a clock face or 12- 24 degrees (geometrically) different than your own “angle between the feet.”  People who are more than 2-3 minutes or 12-24 degrees different from you are going to have personality types that are too different from you to achieve total compatibility with.

Remember, however, that this is only true 80-90% of the time. There will be exceptions to the rule. WHY? Because people have “façade” or “social” feet angles just like they have “façade” or “social personalities.” 

For example, people who are in the acting or modeling industry may be trained to walk with their feet totally straight (12 noon.) So you may have a “beautiful tease” that has straight feet because she was trained to walk that way not because she has “no fear!”  Get it.

People have accidents to their legs and feet and back etc. that can change the angle between their feet and give you a false interpretation.  Usually however it is one foot that is out, not both, but I have met people with both out as results of accidents.

MAXIM 2: – If you are in a relationship with someone who has an angle between their feet more than 2-3 minutes on a clock face or 12- 24 degrees (geometrically) different than your own “angle between the feet,” and if you get along beautifully, than forget about it. You are probably in that area of the 10-20% exceptions that don’t correlate. Ultimately you have to observe the person in front of you and not their feet.

However, if you are having trouble with this person in a relationship, then observe their exact angle and make a point of meeting other people with that angle and talking to them. Talk to your guy friends with a similar angle. There is a personality type here, get to know and understand it. They are different from you. They don’t think like you do. So throw all your assumptions out the window and get to know the personality type in front of you. 

If you can do that then you will be able to improve the understanding between each other in the relationship. The closer they are in relation to your own “angle between the feet” however, the better chance you have for long term survival of your relationship.


This is one of those observations that took me years to observe and figure out that you can benefit from immediately.

Stick with guys (and girl friends) with similar feet angles and you will find you get along better with them.

Does this mean that we shouldn’t have friends with different feet angles? NO it doesn’t. It just means for those real close relationships that you can choose – boyfriend, girlfriend, boss, best friend, etc., you would get along better and stand a better chance of achieving a long term successful relationship with someone who is within 2-3 minutes of your own foot angle.

Remember also there are different kinds of relationships. Some buddy or boyfriend you see once a week doesn’t have to be as compatible with you as someone you live with or work with every day.  Use this data to qualify those kinds of situations.

Make some observations of your own. Look at your own feet angle. Look at the people that you get along with best. What is their feet angle? Look at the people that you definitely don’t like. What is their feet angle? You will discover trends. You might notice that 6 out of 10 people that you really like have feet angles within 2-3 minutes of yours and that 3 out of 10 people that you don’t like at all have feet angles within 5-10 minutes from yours.

But feet angle is immediately noticeable. It gives you a quick 80-90% reliable method of sizing up people fast. It also let’s you see through facades and “social” personalities as most people don’t pay attention to feet and don’t try to fake the angle of their feet.

Once you start making observations you can associate with the various feet angles, you will be able to predict people with relative accuracy (80-90% right).

Now as a final note I want to say, “Please don’t believe me. Don’t assume what I am telling you is true. Go observe for yourself.”

Look at all of your friends and relatives. Correlate the angles with their personality types. Go to a busy street corner or a mall and start observing these feet angles.  A simple test or computation is the percent of perfectly straight feet (both pointing to 12 noon). Count the number of people with straight feet out of every 10 that walk by or every 100.

Do it by sexes. Do it by age groups. Do it by races. You will see some interesting things.

Here are some of my observations after 1000s of observations.

In Los Angeles/Beverly Hills where I made most of my observations, on the average:

1-2 men out of 10 have straight feet.

2-4 women out of 10 have straight feet.

8-9 out of 10 children under 8-10 have straight feet.

The above was the same for black, white and brown Americans but oddly

5 out of 10 Chinese Americans have straight feet. (didn’t look at sex differences)

In Japan (Tokyo)

7- 8 out of 10 women have straight feet

1-2 out of 10 men have straight feet.

Walking or standing may be different for different people. Walking is a better determination, but how one stands can also be a clue to hidden tendencies if it is greatly different.

If you make any interesting observations about any of this please tell me about them at one of my various blogs or forums at 


Copyright © 2007 Mr L.Rx

Posted in Articles, Relationships.

Why Most Women Shouldn’t Get Breast Implants (And It’s Not A Health Reason) – Or – It’s Not The Size of A Woman’s Breasts That Matters It’s….

I read in the news the other day that the average US woman’s bra size had increased from a B cup to a DD cup in the last 20 years. Now, not all of this is due to implants and Americans gaining weight in general, a lot is due to heightened awareness that women shouldn’t squeeze themselves into too small bras1.

But this leads me into talking about the “breast implant” trend which I find to be a rather disturbing trend. Over the last 20 years or so breast implants have increased from the 250cc range to the 500cc range2.  This leads me to believe that a lot of women are under the mistaken idea that men like big breasted women.


Yes, mistaken!

I had a beautiful young sex partner that I was seeing for the last year who had almost perfectly shaped B cup breasts when I met her. She has had two implant surgeries (she first increased to a C cup and then a second surgery to a DD cup). The C cup was ok (still not natural) but now at DD she no longer looks as good to me naked as she used to, and the DD breasts are not as fun to touch and play with. She is no longer that beautiful young sex partner to me. She wrecked the aesthetic.

So let me clear this up right now. Men like beautiful women. Breasts are only one part of  the overall beauty of a woman. For secure and confident men it is ONE of the factors comprising beauty – not the only one.  For insecure, unconfident men …well, that’s another story…. Poll of Men

Big breasts sometimes look beautiful when they are inside a bra and on fully clothed women, but have you ever seen a naked woman with big breasts? They are usually droopy, ugly, stretch-marked and sweaty. And the artificial ones, though not droopy, just don’t quite look or feel right. Personally, I don’t like making love to cartoon characters.

I still remember the first time I saw a big breasted woman I thought was pretty. She was a neighbor. She had all her clothes on and she looked pretty good. Then I accidentally saw her completely naked one day. I was 16…. It was scary.

I learned my lesson quickly….Pleasingly plump, as they called it back then, wasn’t so pleasing… naked!

Here is the problem, girls, you always hear women say, “After I got implants, I started getting so much more attention from men”.

I have news for you girls, attention does not equal “attraction”. And even more importantly, attention doesn’t always equal “attention from the kind of man whose attention you desire”.

Take me for instance, I honestly am not attracted to big breasted women, but if I see one on the street, in the mall, do they get my attention? Will I look?

Sure I will!


Because its an oddity. It’s funny looking. It’s bold and maybe even sexy on certain women. It’s like a cartoon character. Even if it’s a “sexy” cartoon character, it’s still a cartoon character.

If a muscle bound body builder walks by I’ll look at him too, and so will most women. It doesn’t mean I am gay, that I am “attracted” to him, or want to have sex with him. And the majority of women who look at him are not attracted to and don’t want to have sex with him either. (Of course there is always a percentage of people who like what the majority of us don’t) Most of us look at the muscle bound body builder because it’s an oddity, it’s funny. He’s a cartoon character of sorts.

But do most of us also instantaneously see the “insecurity”, and the need to “over compensate” of these cartoon type characters? Yes, most of us do.

So let’s go back to the statement I made a few paragraphs ago. I said I don’t like big breasted women. That’s not entirely true. The truth is I like beautiful women. Always have. Always will. I don’t actually care if a woman is flat or Double D cup, as long as she is beautiful.

And I am talking NAKED beautiful, not fully clothed beautiful. If there is one thing about me that may be different from other men, it is that my girlfriends and sex partners are ALWAYS NAKED BEAUTIFUL!

Now when I say I don’t like big breasted women, it is more of a probability thing, than a dislike of size. The probability of a big breasted woman looking good with her clothes off is very low. So therefore when I see a big breasted woman, I am not that attracted as I know that the probability of her looking good with her clothes off is low.

You see, girls, it is not how big your breasts are that make them attractive and beautiful to a man, it is the SHAPE of the breast and the touch and feel and its relationship to the rest of the body that makes them beautiful, or not. Poll of Men

And believe it or not girls, breasts are not the first thing that most men look at or like as their favorite body part. Many studies have shown that most men notice the face and the smile before they notice a woman’s breasts3,4,5,6,7. Personally I look at a woman’s face and overall body shape and weight and proportion as my first qualification of beauty.

And what do I like?

Well I like it all, but skin, face, and overall body shape and size are probably my favorites.

And yes, sure when I look at a woman, I will notice breast size eventually, but I am not interested in big or even great breasts on a woman who is overweight or whose face I can’t appreciate. And I am not interested in overly large breasts on a woman with an otherwise beautiful face and proportion, as I know the probability of her usual and tactile aesthetic when I get her clothes off is low.

Truth of the matter is most big breasts are saggy, sweaty (under the fold) and out of proportion to the rest of the body to the point it looks ridiculous, or an indication that the woman may be overweight in other areas of her body that are held in by girdles, clothes, etc. And when a woman has implants, who knows where those nipples might end up!

Now, what are aesthetic breasts? Visually, they are breasts that stand out firmly, pointedly (not saggy or droopy) with nice skin tone and nice nipples. Tactilely they are breasts that are soft (not hard as a potato) and can be grasped and massaged by one hand (not two hands per breast!).

I like naked women. I have x-ray vision (so to speak) and I always pick a girl who I know will look better with her clothes off than she does with them on. I am rarely wrong. Big breasted women hardly ever pass my x-ray test.  I don’t like breasts that hang down to a woman’s waist and I don’t like artificial breasts that look like little round grapefruits or cantaloupes protruding unnaturally from a woman’s chest. (That is not the shape of naturally beautiful breasts.)

Now, as usual, the above is not true in all cases. I had a girlfriend who was a DD cup breast size that looked great with her clothes off, but her breasts were naturally pointy and firm and did not droop or have sweat pockets underneath them.

So you see it is the aesthetic of the breasts, not the size that matters.

It is the shape and feel of the breasts, not the size that matters.

Now let’s talk about guys in relation to “breast size”. I have known and communicated about women with lots of guys in my life. Guys love my taste in women.  And believe me, I know how guys think. I know what the average guy likes and dislikes and I also know how the average guy lies to women and to himself about what he really thinks.

The only guys I have met in my entire life who were fascinated with breast size and preoccupied with breasts above all other aesthetic points of beauty on a woman, have been “closet-gay” guys and shy/insecure guys – guys who were unsure about their own masculinity and lacked confidence in their own ability to meet and secure a girlfriend.

It is almost like guys who are unsure of or doubt their own masculinity and ability say what they think they are suppose to say if they are a man, they state the stereotypes and archetypes that men are suppose to say rather than saying what they really think.

Let me tell you a little secret about human psychology. When a guy himself feels like he can’t compete with other guys for the “hottest” women, he lowers his standards. He will go for whatever he can honestly get. After all, all he wants is “sex”!

Now if he is secure in his self image he won’t bother to lie about it. He will simply admit “I can’t get a girl like that.”  But if he is insecure, rather than admit he can’t get the girls he wants, he will start saying that he prefers these “cartoon character” type of girls – you know big booties and big breasts and other “oversized” variations – to save his own self image. He feels this lowered standard is easier for him to get and he hides his real desires to save face.  But truth be told all these guys  (and that includes my black and latin friends who supposedly like big booties and breasts) always make a point to compliment me and tell me how “hot” my girlfriends are no matter what they profess to others. Some have even confessed, “I wish I could get girls like that.”

But no matter what you look like or your breast size, you are better served by a boyfriend who is secure and confident in his own masculinity and ability in dealing with women, than an insecure unconfident guy who deals in stereotypes of what he thinks he is supposed to do and like.

So all you women out there with beautiful A,B, and C cup breasts ought to think twice about the “type” of guy you will start attracting if you get a “boob job” to get bigger breasts. You are going to attract a lot of insecure guys who are unsure about their own masculinity and who probably won’t appreciate you for your personality. Researchers have even shown that men who like smaller breast are more likely to settle down and men who like larger breasts are more likely to favor short term relationships8.

Is that the kind of guy you want to attract?

And what about the A, B, C cup women who say, “All the guys I date or all my boyfriends have said my boobs are too small”? Well that is simple, the problem is you are attracting the wrong type of guys. That is what you need to change – the type of guys you attract – NOT your boobs!

And that leads me into another tip girls, if you want to be sexy to attract the kind of man that you are interested in – be “selective sexy” not “general sexy”.

What’s the difference? “General sexy” is techniques that put “sexy” out there for every man to see. So showing off big boobs for example, low cut dresses showing off your cleavage, going without a bra, and showing or accentuating a lot of skin, bootie, or boobs or other sexy parts to every man who walks on by is “general sexy”. Get the idea? These are things that every man can see you doing. Problem is ALL of these techniques will attract the scummy, the “sex” interest only, the insecure type of men.

A quality man sees you doing this to all men and he immediately knows or assumes that you are insecure and desperate (why else would a girl be putting sexy out there for everyone to see) and he passes! Get it. He is not attracted even though he may look at it and consider it sexy.

General sexy defeats your purpose (unless you are desperate and don’t care what kind of man you get – if any man will do!). You’ll attract the scum and insecure men and you will blow away the quality, secure and confident men.

Now if you want a quality man, learn to be “selective sexy”. Selective sexy is when you target the kind of man that you want and only be sexy for him (or them if you are checking out more than one). So for example, you don’t wear that low cut top to work every day for all the guys to see, but when you go to lunch with that special guy, you feign you are a little warm and remove your buttoned up sweater, and reveal your low cut top. Poll of Men

Back to work and your sweater is back on, and this guy knows you are being sexy just for him. Now THIS WILL attract a quality guy. He gets the message, and it’s a message meant for him – not every guy on the block! He sees you as confident and seductive, not desperate!

The old girlfriend I mentioned above who had perfect DD cup breasts even when she was naked, didn’t show off her boobs to every man she met. In fact she routinely wore clothes to hide her larger breasts because she knew it would attract the wrong type of guy.  She was “selective sexy”.

If you want a QUALITY MAN, I can’t stress how important it is to be “selective sexy”.

Here are some facts ladies.

The majority of guys prefer women in the A to C cup range. Don’t believe me? Just Google “what size breasts do men prefer?” and check out the online forums9. You will see over and over again men don’t really care that much about breast size and/or prefer smaller breasts in the A to C range not the D, DD and larger range that girls who get implants seem to prefer.

But yet women who get implants are on a trend of larger and larger implants with implants sizes rising from 250cc in the late 1990s to almost 500cc currently2. With the most common complaint from women who have breast implants being, “I should have gotten them bigger.”

What do men notice about women right away that turn them off? For me it’s overly large disproportionate boobs, butt or lips, and other plastic surgery stuff. And polls have shown that men don’t like ugly feet and toenails, oversized heads, hair with roots that need dying, and ugly ears and teeth10.

5 Reasons you shouldn’t get implants to increase your breast size:

1) All those health concerns everyone else talks about.11, 12

2) Size is not needed to attract the kind of man you probably want to have a relationship with.

3) You will attract the wrong kind of guys – insecure non-relationship type of guys.

4) They won’t look that good naked (Even the good fake ones!)

5) You may end up looking like a cartoon character.

3 Good acceptable reasons to get breast implants/plastic surgery: Poll of Men

1) Well if a woman were totally flat and she just had no self esteem and she wanted to get implants to increase to an A or B cup size, it might be a good idea.

2) There is a small percentage of women who have A, B, C cup unaesthetic breasts. Some women with even small breasts are saggy, droopy, stretch-marked, etc. If a woman had low self esteem because of this issue and wanted to just change the shape (not necessarily the size of her breasts) and aesthetic of her breasts this would be another area of warranted plastic surgery.

3) Many larger breasted women need breast reduction surgery for health reasons as well as aesthetics. It is more common for larger breasted women to have saggy, droopy, sweaty, stretch-marked and generally unaesthetic breasts. Again if self esteem or aesthetic issues are paramount it is understandable that these women might want to go under the knife.

But other than that, breast implants to make a woman “bigger” is a deal breaker for me. I will have sex with a woman with implants but I don’t think I could marry a woman with implants. At least not one that had normal aesthetic breasts and had implants just to make them bigger. The fact that that she got them tells me a little bit about her own insecurity and that isn’t something I want in a marriage partner. And I certainly wouldn’t encourage my A, B, or C cup wife to go get implants for me to have something to show off to the fellows. Not at all!

Mr. L. Rx














Posted in Articles, Attract Men, Beauty.

On Beauty – How To Be More Beautiful

Beauty Is Created

Ultimately beauty is nothing but a consideration.  It is what each of us considers that it is.

As a consequence beauty has no objective reality. It does have, however, an agreed upon reality. The considerations that the largest percentage of people share in any culture would set the “norms” for beauty in that culture.

What one culture might consider beautiful, however, another may not.

But let’s get back to shared considerations. Even within a culture there are those who do not share the cultural view of beauty. Some of these might comprise a large “subculture.”

For example, in our culture, sixty percent of us might consider “thin” to be beautiful. Yet perhaps twenty percent might consider a slightly overweight woman – perhaps called “full” or “voluptuous” to be the ultimate “beauty”. This would be a large subculture. People in general would not be that surprised if someone had this viewpoint.

Perhaps one tenth of one percent of the population might consider a three hundred pound obese woman to be “beautiful”. This would not be a large subculture and most of us would be a little surprised if someone told us they consider this to be the ultimate beauty. But none-the-less, this person would be considered beautiful to this small subculture.

To the individual “beauty” is just “beauty”.

Now knowing that beauty is just a consideration means there is something that we can do about it. Dating gurus, such as myself, often preach that attraction is created. Well, attraction like beauty is a consideration. And just like attraction, beauty can be created.

But in order to create beauty, we have to understand what goes into this consideration.

First of all you must realize what the cultural norms for your culture are. You probably already know that. But do you know what the sub-cultural norms are?

So you are not the thin model type that everyone (or at least sixty percent of the people) seems to adore. Well what does the twenty percent subgroup adore? And what about the ten percent subgroup? And the five percent? And the three percent? And the one percent, etc.? What do they adore?

You had better find out. Why? Because the first thing you had better learn about beauty, (if you want to make yourself more beautiful), is all the subculture norms. Because no matter what you look like, you may find there is some subculture that just thinks you are absolutely gorgeous.

So realize that you may not have to fight the main culture and that you just might fit into the perfect definition of beauty in some subculture. Even if you only fit into the definition of beauty in a subculture that comprises one tenth of one percent of the population, in a metropolitan area like Los Angeles, that’s still about 17,000 people who would think you are beautiful. That is a small town!

So one of the first things you can do about being beautiful is to do a little research and find out what the mainstream and various subcultures actually consider beautiful. Then if your goal in life is to be told you are beautiful by an adoring mate, the job becomes to market yourself to the right group of people. Maybe it is not the “norm” or mainstream group. But what do you care? Just realize that no matter your type, someone, somewhere will think you are beautiful. Your problem is just to find them!

Now sometimes what you might consider to be the norm, isn’t.

When I was a kid I grew up with a family of slightly overweight people. I grew up thinking I was unattractive because I was thin. I had this consideration because I was constantly told by my family for eighteen years that I was too skinny.

Now by the time I was twenty-two, I was five foot ten and weighed one hundred fifty pounds of solid muscle. (I had been a gymnast since I was 14). My wife (my first girlfriend), who realized I had a button on being skinny, was a little jealous at times and didn’t want me to think other women might be attracted to me so always made a point of calling me skinny throughout our marriage.

So I still felt unattractive.

A few years later, I was twenty-five and getting divorced, and as I started dating an abundance of women, lo and behold, I discovered for the first time in my life that although every woman I met did not think I was attractive, most women did not think me “too skinny” and in fact there were quite a few women who thought I was the hottest thing they had ever seen.

Quite a revelation!

Another thing that women need to know about creating beauty is that men and women within our culture don’t have the same considerations about beauty.

I talk to my women friends and my daughters about this topic and one of the things I notice is that women judge and assign beauty based on how a woman dresses, how she does her hair, how she puts her make up on.

Men don’t take these things into consideration. Men look at a woman’s physical features. We can see right through make up, and “style” and hair and all the rest.  A woman is beautiful or pretty, etc. if she has features that we like. I have always told my girlfriends that I like it when a woman wakes up in the morning and looks her absolute worse and she is still pretty.

I remember telling people when Britney Spears was about 18 years old that she really wasn’t that pretty. I could see through all the glamour and make up and all, and truth be told she had a rather plain looking face that wasn’t all that pretty (per cultural norms). Not many women agreed with me at the time, but years later when Britney had gained weight and wasn’t taking care of herself properly, it was obvious to even women that she wasn’t really that naturally pretty of a girl.

Now men would agree that make up, and clothes, and perfumes, etc. can make a woman much more “attractive” and of course we like those things, we are just not fooled by them.


What makes me an expert on Beauty? Well, I don’t even know that I am. All I know is that in our culture here in the US, I have a very keen sense of what our culture considers beautiful. All my male friends have always agreed with my idea of beauty. I don’t believe I have had even one male friend in my entire life disagree with me when I told him so and so is beautiful or hot. I can’t say the same for the reverse. I disagree with my friend’s assignment of beauty all the time. I have been rather known by my male friends as having “higher standards” than most men when it comes to “beauty”.

I even took a test once for one of the dating services that I joined. The test was to see what “type” of women I liked. I was shown probably a thousand photos of women to compare and rate. In the end, it turned out I liked what the majority of our culture liked, the beautiful model type that we see in all the magazines and movies. Not only did I like them but I was so adept at picking out this type that I was told I was a natural “talent scout” or “beauty scout”.

Now I am telling you my credentials, not to brag, but to let you know that personally I am very, very, mainstream when it comes to physical beauty. I am very adept at picking out the cultural norm for our culture. I am telling you this so you know that I am not some off-center guy when I tell you that you can make yourself more beautiful.

And remember, when I say make yourself more beautiful I am not meaning more attractive.  I mean you can change someone’s consideration of beauty – starting with your own. Now you don’t necessarily have to change what you think is beautiful to change your own consideration, but you do have to change your consideration that beauty is “set” and unchangeable.

Beauty is not “set” and unchangeable. First and foremost beauty is different to every single person, and first and foremost you must allow yourself to be beautiful to other people no matter what you think of yourself. Get your percentage. Whether you are the type of beauty that appeals to sixty percent of the people or the type that appeals to one hundredth of a per cent of the people, realize that you are beautiful to someone, and that is the absolute truth.

The first rule of making yourself more beautiful: Accept yourself as you are. Make yourself more attractive by personal grooming, posture, attitude, personality, etc. and if being beautiful is important to you find the people who consider and appreciate your type of beauty (rather than finding a plastic surgeon).

More On Beauty

When it comes to people there are different kinds of beauty.

Let’s make four distinct categories to begin:

1)      Classic or common beauty

2)      Unique Beauty

3)      Type Beauty

4)      Personal Beauty

Classic or common beauty is beauty which adheres to the cultural norms of beauty to a tee. Ever hear the expression “She was too beautiful, too pretty”?

Now the thing about classic or common beauty is that it is striking – it gets your attention right away. It is very noticeable, and it very noticeably adheres to the norms. The problem with classic or common beauty (if there is such a thing as a problem with this) is when a person approaches this kind of beauty, after a while, you start noticing the imperfections from the ideal beauty state almost as much as the beauty itself.

Ever know people who are real, real beautiful? They get your attention but after a while you start noticing that their nose is slightly crooked, their eyebrows are a little thin, their lips are too full. You start noticing these things every time you look at them. You start seeing the imperfections as much as you see the perfections.

Unique beauty on the other hand is not necessarily as striking at first glance. These people may seem beautiful or even seem average or plain at first. Their beauty will adhere more or less to the cultural norm but not as much as the classic beauty. The interesting thing about unique beauty is the more you look at it, the more beautiful it seems. It starts to grow on you. There is no real standard that you compare this person to as you do the classic beauty, so you don’t notice little imperfections as much. On the contrary, the little imperfections are seen as character and add to the beauty, rather than detract from it.

Type beauty is sort of what I have been talking about all along. It is that subculture that likes your type of beauty. Type beauty can be Classic or Unique just as the main cultural beauty can. There is also beauty within a type. So maybe most guys don’t like women with big butts like Kim Kardashian, but for the guys that do, she might be the classic beauty of that type. It is another dimension to explore.

You might think that you are not that beautiful because you have big thighs, or because you are skinny, or because you have thick eyebrows, but in actuality you might just be a goddess to the people who like your type. See what I mean? There are people who may be attractive or beautiful to people who like a certain type, and then there are people who might be goddesses or “10s” to people who like that type.

So don’t sell yourself short. You might be ranked a “3” to the cultural norm and yet a “10” to your subculture that likes your type.

Personal beauty gets away from physical, societal or cultural norms and focuses more on beauty created by personality and attitudes (of course we have cultural norms for these attributes too). Remember that beauty is a consideration. Not all people consider beauty to be a physical attribute. Women, for example, will more often than men see beauty in the opposite sex based on inner qualities, personality, etc. Personal beauty can come from such things as confidence, posture, the way one carries one self, the way one talks or moves or walks. It can come from attitude, beliefs, personality, the way one treats others. There is even a personal beauty that comes from an “inner” sexiness – not the outward trappings that make one appear sexy – but a real inner sexiness that comes from one’s confidence about and attitude toward sex.

Personal beauty is the rock on which all beauty sets. It is also the easiest beauty to change or create. In a relationship, personal beauty adds depth to both Classic or Unique beauty. Any type of physical beauty without a personal beauty to back it up will becoming boring, shallow, and unattractive after a while.

Personal beauty is more commonly mixed up with “attraction” variables. The things that create attraction in others often create a personal beauty too. Since beauty is just a consideration anyway, personal beauty can literally change how a person “sees you”. I have had it happen to me a couple of times in my life. I have met women who were just average looking until I got to know them. Suddenly they became physically beautiful to me. This has even happened to be after a short two or three hour conversation.

So in the end, how do you become beautiful? You become beautiful by being the best “you” you can be, inwardly and outwardly. You become beautiful by seeing your own beauty, accepting yourself and not trying to be something you are not. You become beautiful by realizing no one is beautiful to everyone. We all have our percentages. Some of us have a higher percentage than others, but we are all beautiful to someone. You become beautiful when you realize that and find that someone.

I joined a dating site once that showed you the percentage of interest each person on the website got. In other words, how often someone clicked on your picture when seeing it in a search. The most physically beautiful women on the website (by cultural standards) only got a 15% click though rate – I am not kidding – that was the highest percentage on the site. The average woman got somewhere between 5 and 10% click through. Even the ugliest women got 1-2% click through.

What does all this mean? It means what I have been saying all along. Beauty is a consideration. It is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone is beautiful to someone. See the beauty in yourself. Allow others to see it too. Find the people – no matter if they are far and few between – who see what you see too, and your beauty will be validated on a daily basis.

Mr. L. Rx

On Beauty – How To Be More Beautiful (c) 2010 Dating To Relating, Inc.

Posted in Articles, Beauty.

Tagged with , , .

How Women Blow It With A Good Man

How Women Blow It With A Good Man

After reviewing some of the questions that women have asked on our website, one of the most frequently asked questions is how to get a high quality, successful, loving man, and how not to blow it with him on a date. A Good Man

Well, I think I am pretty qualified to answer this, after all about ninety percent of the women that I meet on a first date what to go out with me again. I, however, only respond to about as little as a half of a percent of them (1 out of 200) to as many as ten percent of them (1 out of 10).

Now, I am in my fifties, but I am still relatively attractive, in good shape, financially secure, and I am very easy to get along with. I am confident, experienced, and mature.

When I was 18, I was pretty hot. Women would try to pick me up, honk their horns, stop their cars and talk to me, stop the elevator and try to make out with me, etc. (No I am not kidding.) But at 18, as soon as I would open my mouth, I would lose the girl. In fact, I was twenty years old before I could sucker some poor girl into being my first girlfriend.

Today in my fifties, I am more successful with dating women than I have ever been.  I usually don’t date anyone over 35, with the majority of my dating being with women 28-35. I am looking to get married again and have more children. But I am quite PICKY!

Without question, women like me now first and foremost because of my personality, not my looks. The rest of the package doesn’t hurt. When I open my mouth now, they listen.

I have turned down 4 or 5 marriage proposals in the last 4 or 5  years, and I turn down “hot women” that other men would die for all the time.

I am a dad with 4 kids and when married, I never cheated on my wife.

I am romantic, love foreplay, and am an experienced lover. I love to listen to my women and have meaningful conversation.  I’d love to spend an afternoon shopping in the mall, holding hands, touching, and whispering little flirtatious nothings in her ear.

In short, I have a lot of qualities that women look for in the ideal man. I am now the kind of guy that women have to compete for. So if I can tell you what women do to blow it with me, this might be a good clue on how to get a good man.

So the first thing that I look for when I meet a woman is “chemistry”. You know that undefined quality that attracts you to someone.  Honestly, for me, it is not there most of the time. When it is there, it is a combination of aesthetics and personality, with the personality getting the biggest vote. However, aesthetics is an automatic disqualifier.

If I find you unattractive or repulsive, forget anything anyone has told you about how to get a man. Give it up. It just won’t happen.  Nothing you can do about it. If I am neutral towards you or slightly or greatly attracted, then yes, you have a shot of working your magic on me.

So moral of this first story. If you are the kind of woman who considers food more important than your looks, or are too lazy to do a little exercise to stay in shape, then that alone could blow it with me – move you out of the neutral category into the unattractive one. Your personality is more important to me than your looks, but again, if I find you unattractive or repulsive you’ll get instantly disqualified from consideration – you will get my “let’s be friends” routine. I won’t be interested.

Now if you have been reading my writings you know I am big on personality compatibility. So obviously I am looking for someone who is compatible with my personality, someone I can talk to easily, etc. Next to chemistry this is the second biggest thing I look at when meeting a date. I won’t go into the particular personality traits that I like, however, as they are not universal attributes. Only applicable to me. But what is universal is that everyone is looking for women they get along with. Someone they are compatible with.

Some women have blown it with me by playing the dating game that some of those female “dating gurus” advise. You know, don’t let me know you are interested. Don’t call me back the first time I call. Stand me up, or arbitrarily cancel a date every once in a while, all that kind of stuff.

That won’t work on me. I am valuable real estate.  If I don’t get that you are interested in me at all or you play the wrong kind of games with me, I’ll be gone very quickly. There are lots of women who are interested in me, so why should I waste my time with someone who is rude and inconsiderate. I don’t have any problem wasting even the most  beautiful women. There are plenty of beautiful women. I want a beautiful woman with a great personality – not just a beautiful woman.

That is not to say I want you crawling all over me and telling me how much you like me and calling me up fifty times a day to make another date either (yes, these things have happened to me too and obviously these kinds of personalities are deal breakers.)

I want a women who is a little bit aloof, a little bit of a challenge. But you can do that by just putting the breaks on intimacy. THAT is how you play games with a man and establish control with him. You don’t have to do stupid things like not answer the phone when I call and cancel dates, etc. to be a challenge. That won’t work with me. If you are going to play games, play romantic games. Be a little hard to get in bed. DO NOT be rude and inconsiderate!

Clamming up won’t work, either. I want a woman who communicates. Tell me who you are. Tell me what you think. Tell me what you like. Ask me questions, show me that you are interested in me, too.

Be yourself. If you are not yourself, I will detect it and that will lose me real quick. Even if I ultimately don’t feel compatible with who you are, you stand a better chance of getting me if you are honest and up front about who you are.

If we start dating, and having a relationship, then you had better create it. If you don’t that will lose me real quick. Making me do all the work won’t work either. Contribute to the relationship, contribute to the create.

Be sensual, not sexual. This is a big one. About five years ago, I once went out with a women who was on the cover of playboy magazine for a while. She was very close to what  most men would consider a perfect “10”. Better yet, she was a real nice person with a great personality. So why didn’t I fall in love and marry her?

Well, her approach to sex, was to take off all her clothes, say, “Let’s have sex” and lay there while I do all the work. Well this may sound great if you are 18 years old, and when I was 18 years old I would never have believed I could not be interested in a woman so beautiful.

But the facts are I like romance and sensuality. If you have to play games with a man, play romantic games, sensual games. Throwing yourself at me won’t get me  –  in fact it will probably lose me very quickly. And if you have “no clue” about sex, you had better tell me that up front and say you want to learn. Because laying there and having me do all the work (no matter how beautiful you are) is a complete turn off for me.

And when I say don’t throw yourself at me, it doesn’t mean that we have to go three months without having sex either. I am talking about the quality of the interaction. We could even have sex the very first time we meet. But if we do, it better be romantic. There had better be 5 hours of making out with our clothes on and petting leading up to the sex act. Whip off your clothes and throw yourself at me on a first date,well I don’t care if you are a 10, I’ll  probably do you, but you’ll probably never see me again.

Women have also blown it with me by over-reaching. Smothering me with compliments and attention. Calling me up too much and wanting to see me too frequently. There is a natural attraction between people. Sometimes it takes a while but you start liking a person more and  more. I’ve even had sexual relationships not get real good and in sync until a year or so later.

Do not over reach. Do not call a guy or email him ten times in a row if he doesn’t respond to the first call or email. It could be that he was just busy and he might have called you back. But after four or five phone calls, you’ll be history.

I’ve also had women blow it with me by not paying attention to timing. They didn’t respond to me when I made my move then time went by and they suddenly decided I was the guy for them, but it was too late. I had moved on and was no longer interested.

Another way women have blown it with me is by being too self-centered. When I meet a woman, I am very interested in getting to know her. I listen. I ask questions and I listen some more. I can go months without talking much about myself. Women do not usually meet guys like me who listen, so I can understand it if they indulge in talking about themselves a bit too much in the beginning. But at a certain point, a woman should show some interest in getting to know me and what I do and what I am about, etc. If it is all about her all the time, well…it is just not going to work.

I did not think I would have to mention this last one, but I probably should. It is more like something a girl would tell guys. But it has happened to me enough that it is worthy of mention.

Be cleanly and well groomed.

For girls I have had just two areas of cleanliness that have blown me away. Those are the mouth and shall we say “south of the border.” If you smoke, and your love interest doesn’t, realize that your breathe will absolutely STINK to him.  Also I might add that cleanliness applies to inside your body as well as the outside. Some people are impeccably clean on the outside. But bad breathe odor or taste, bad sweat odor or taste, and “south of the border” bad odor or bad taste is indicative of internal problems.

This can be from a bad diet or eating habits. Or it could be from the fact that you have never done any internal cleansing. Not everyone needs to do an internal cleansing to control odors and tastes but some people DO need to do a variety of “detox” cleanses to freshen up their natural odor and taste. If you are one of them, do it. Or you may lose the man of your dreams.

These are just some things that women have done to blow me away. But I AM NOT your average guy. If you want an average guy then some of this probably won’t apply.

Mr. L. Rx

How Women Blow It With A Good Man (c) 2007 Dating To Relating, Inc.

Posted in Articles, Mr. Right?.

Tagged with .

Dating To Relating For Women

Dating To Relating For Women

Well you know that is primarily a website for men. The idea was to educate men to be better,well…,men! But the hard cold facts is that 40% of the people visiting my site are women and 68% of the people typing in “dating advice” in their search engine are women (Interestingly 55% of the people typing the words “dating tips” are men.)

You know, I give advice to women all the time. Practically every hot women I have ever dated has problems with men who like them and won’t go away. Either that or they have had some problem in the past that they still don’t know how to resolve and have attention on.

So let’s talk a little about women and dating and relationships.

What do women need to know about men? Well based on my experience there are a number of things that women consistently get wrong or do not understand about men particularly in the areas of when to end it with a man and about being friends with men.

So, girls, here are the basic things you need to know to protect yourself and your integrity. Now keep in mind these are generalities. I am always writing about situational variables, but the following are so predominantly true that for lack of a situational understanding, you would be very safe to rely on the following:

1) When it comes to relationships and dating and relating the first thing you need to know about men is that men are idiots. A small percentage of men aren’t – maybe 20-25%. And usually by the time they are thirty-five or older, men start to grow up and get smarter, but some NEVER grow up.

2) Men can’t be “friends only.” Don’t fool yourself. It’s something on the order of ninety-nine percent who can’t to one percent who can. It is much greater than the idiot factor.

Women can be “friends only,” and often desire to be friends with a guy who wants more. The man agrees to be “friends only,” only to blow up three months, six months, or a year later and announce that he can’t take it anymore. He is in love and always has been. He can’t stand being friends. The woman of course is shocked because she was cool with being “friends only” and was enjoying it.

The only guys who can truly be friends with a woman are guys who reject you and aren’t really interested in you.

3) Men have three distinct ways of treating women: a) One way for women they like and are really attracted to – for girlfriend, marriage type relationships. b) Another way for women they aren’t attracted to enough for marriage but are attracted to enough to have sex with, and c) a third way for women they have no sexual attraction towards.

a)      Women they like – Most men, when they really like a women will usually do the butt-kissing routine and will do anything your little soul desires. Men typically  become “wimps” and  “pussys” when they are naturally in love. There is a more emotionally mature breed of man (the kind I am trying to create with my website) who will be a gentleman and treat you with respect and communication rather than becoming a “pussy”, but they are few and far between.

b)      Women they don’t really like but would have sex with – These are the kinds of relationships that men usually end up in. Men are very driven by sex, so they will typically compromise their integrity and settle for a relationship with someone they wouldn’t really marry just so they can get some sex. The idea that men don’t want to commit comes from the fact that this type of relationship is the most prevalent one. It isn’t that men can’t commit. It is that men in this kind of relationship can’t commit to you – they are really just in it for the sex.

c)      Women they are not attracted to at all – When a man isn’t interested to a woman at all sexually, he is capable of being anywhere from true friends, to disinterested or bored with you, to perhaps a little mean, viscous or cruel towards you.

But make a note. For some guys this category doesn’t exist. For some guys practically all women fall into (a) and (b) above. Occasionally you will find a guy like me who puts about 90% of women into this category.  Anyway, if you really want men friends, find a guy who has no attraction to you whatsoever, make friends with him on a personality vector and you will have a guy who can actually be friends with you.

But make sure that  you are not a “borderline” case because if you are and he starts to like you for your personality, you might jump up a category or so in his mind.

4) Men will feign friendship, liking you, and being nice to you to get sex. This is just an expansion of number 3(b) above, but it is so preeminent that it deserves a category of its own. Men don’t really mature between the ages of 16 and 35 when it comes to relationships, but they do get smarter at how to get sex from women. They learn what to say and do to get a women to give them sex.

The 25 year old male is just as sex driven as the 16 year old boy. But the 25 year old male has learned what to say and do to trick you into thinking that he really likes you so you will give him sex.

Men at these ages also become very skilled at taking advantage of women that they know like them. When a man can tell a woman likes him and she falls into that second category,(which is acceptable for sex only) he will lie and say anything to her that she wants to hear just to get the sex. WOMEN BEWARE!

Learning about personality types and social personality is a must for the woman who wants to keep her own integrity and see through the social veneer that a man who really just wants sex will proffer you.

5) Men will act much nicer to a woman they are interested in than one they are not.  Men are great actors. As explained above they learn at young ages what to say and do to get sex from women. Men don’t mind lying for sex.

Check out a man. Check out his friends. See if a “friendly” guy even has any male friends. If he doesn’t, BEWARE! And if he does, check out his friends. If they are all A******s then chances are he is too!

Now here are what I believe to be “No Brainers”. If you consider yourself an upbeat classy woman and you are looking for the same in a man, then if a man has or does any of the following, DROP HIM LIKE A ROCK. He is NOT and will never be classy.

a)      If a man ever hits you or slaps you or even threatens you in a rough way – leave him immediately.

b)   If a man is over 20 years old living in the USA and he doesn’t have a car – drop him like a hot potato. Men are supposed to be the providers. If he can’t even provide for himself, he is not much of a man.

c)   If a man tries to move into YOUR apartment because he doesn’t have a job or a place to stay – drop him immediately. Again men are supposed to be the providers. Don’t ever support a man. It may seem cool for a while but in the long run, you will regret it.

d)      If a man plays with you like you are one of his buddies – drop him instantly. If he can’t make the distinction between men and women, he is a real idiot.

e)      If a man doesn’t have any men friends or his men friends are a bunch of a**holes – drop him immediately. There is a reason men (or good men) don’t like him.

f)   If a guy is jealous or possessive for no reason – drop him NOW! When people are jealous or paranoid for no reason at all, they are projecting their own moral code on you. They are saying, “If I were in that situation I would be cheating on her, so I know she is cheating on me.” Want to know if I guy would ever cheat on you? This is your biggest clue.

g)   If a guy wants a committed relationship after one date – run for the hills!!! This guy is NUTS! And even if he is not acting like it now, you’ll find out the hard way sooner or later if you continue with him.

h)  If a guy walks up to you on the street and tells you how hot your are – well just mosey on away..then run for the hills!

i)  And of course, if he is married or in a relationship, DROP him the minute you find out. This is the biggest no brainer of all. If he cheats on her, he WILL cheat on you. Don’t buy into his sad story of how bad she treats him and what a great guy he is. He is a liar and a cheat. It is all bulls**t. Don’t find out the hard way. Just drop him.

If you want to learn how to spot and pick out a guy whose personality is 80-90 percent compatible with yours, read my article entitled,  “Feet, Personality Theory, Dating and Relationships”.

You’ll be glad you did!

Mr. L. Rx

(c) 2007 Dating To Relating, Inc.

Posted in Articles, Relationships.

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Dating And Relating For Women

Dating And Relating For Women

Though I mainly write advice for men, a recent poll of my audience showed that 40% of my audience is female. So I am going to address a few of these female dating and relating issues in some of my writings and in a forthcoming update to my book “Dating To Relating – from A to Z.”

Now, I just recently got on the computer to review the dating advice scene for women. You know the female “dating gurus”.

I was surprised to find that it wasn’t much different from the men’s dating advice scene. A lot of people giving out dating strategies rather than dating technology.

What is the difference? Well, a dating strategy is a way to go about increasing your dating by essentially a numbers game. Meet a lot of people and do this and a dating strategy will work a certain percentage of the time. Usually a low percentage like 10% or something.

A dating technology is a full understanding of the subject. It is what allows you to create your own situational strategies.

You see the problem with ALL dating gurus – whether male or female – is that they don’t tell you the correct principles of MEETING men or women…..they tell you what worked for them…..which often are things that don’t quite feel right for you……




You see, the real problem is, there are different types of men and different types of women. And different types of men and women like different types of men and women. Different types of men and women require different strategies for each type.

So I have to laugh when I go to a female dating guru’s web site that begins, “learn how to think like a man” or “inside a man’s mind.”

Though  there is a certain amount of truth to the fact that  there are definite differences between men and women, the differences between personality types within a sex are much more extreme than the difference between men and women.

If the differences between men and women were all you had to deal with, dating would be simple.

You see it is sort of like this.

We all know there are differences between men and women – mentally, physically and emotionally.

Sometimes we get confused by our lack of understanding of the opposite sex to the point where we want to explain everything with the viewpoint that “Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars”.

It may very well be that men and women have vastly different emotional and mental viewpoints on life, but it is my experience and contention that those vast differences are actually pretty easy to understand.

The real problem in dating and relating is that there are happy Venutians, sad Venutians, angry Venutians, sarcastic Venutians, intelligent Venutians and stupid Venutians. And of course the same goes for Martians.

The point is there is more personality difference and variation between a happy Venutian and a sad Venutian then there is between Venutians and Martians in general.

The failure to understand personality, in general, accounts for more misunderstanding between men and women than the failure to understand the opposite sex.

When it comes to understanding men and women we all might be a little smarter than we thought.

So when someone says to you that they understand “men” or “women,” that may very well be true, but that doesn’t mean they can give successful dating advice to you.

Successful dating technology requires that you come up with a way to take into account all the different personality types, and all the different situational variables, so that you can meet and relate to people no matter what YOUR OWN personality is like and no matter what the personality type of the person you date or relate to is like.

Now when you take personality variables into account, the first thing you will come up with is that you are not attracted to and do not get along with every type of personality – only a few types.

I have actually come up with a “strategy” that allows you to spot the personality types that you have a 80-90% chance of getting along with in a long term relationship in as little as a few seconds. I won’t go over it here, but if you haven’t read my article entitled, “Feet, Personality Theory, Dating and Relationships”, read it. You will get a quick primer in how to spot a compatible personality in seconds”.

Also read all the information that these dating gurus give you and start applying it situationally to see what works and what doesn’t work for you. After all, it is all useful. Just don’t believe that it will necessarily work on all types of personalities and in all situations.

Don’t buy into having to change your own personality or compromise your values to meet someone and have a successful relationship.  It is totally possible to be you, to maintain your identity and personality and meet someone who is totally compatible with you.

When it comes to relationships and human interaction, women are already a little more observant than men. That is one of those differences between men and women that we all can observe. So if you read the above article and start applying it to other dating gurus’ advice, it will enhance that ability to observe and put you closer to obtaining a true dating technology.

You might want to read some of my materials for men also. Believe it or not, correct dating technology applies almost universally to both men and women.

Mr. L. Rx

(c) 2007 Dating To Relating, Inc.

Posted in Articles, Relationships.

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