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Dating And Relating For Women

Dating And Relating For Women

Though I mainly write advice for men, a recent poll of my audience showed that 40% of my audience is female. So I am going to address a few of these female dating and relating issues in some of my writings and in a forthcoming update to my book “Dating To Relating – from A to Z.”

Now, I just recently got on the computer to review the dating advice scene for women. You know the female “dating gurus”.

I was surprised to find that it wasn’t much different from the men’s dating advice scene. A lot of people giving out dating strategies rather than dating technology.

What is the difference? Well, a dating strategy is a way to go about increasing your dating by essentially a numbers game. Meet a lot of people and do this and a dating strategy will work a certain percentage of the time. Usually a low percentage like 10% or something.

A dating technology is a full understanding of the subject. It is what allows you to create your own situational strategies.

You see the problem with ALL dating gurus – whether male or female – is that they don’t tell you the correct principles of MEETING men or women…..they tell you what worked for them…..which often are things that don’t quite feel right for you……

Why? BECAUSE MOST GURUS HAVE NO REAL EXPERIENCE WITH MEETING A BROAD RANGE OF MEN AND WOMEN AND SECURING A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM.

MOST GURUS HAVE SIMPLY DISCOVERED ONE TECHNIQUE THAT WORKS (ON ONE TYPE OF WOMAN OR MAN), THEN DO IT ALL THE TIME ON EVERYONE, AND TELL YOU — IT IS A NUMBERS GAME!

NO — IT IS NOT A NUMBERS GAME.

You see, the real problem is, there are different types of men and different types of women. And different types of men and women like different types of men and women. Different types of men and women require different strategies for each type.

So I have to laugh when I go to a female dating guru’s web site that begins, “learn how to think like a man” or “inside a man’s mind.”

Though  there is a certain amount of truth to the fact that  there are definite differences between men and women, the differences between personality types within a sex are much more extreme than the difference between men and women.

If the differences between men and women were all you had to deal with, dating would be simple.

You see it is sort of like this.

We all know there are differences between men and women – mentally, physically and emotionally.

Sometimes we get confused by our lack of understanding of the opposite sex to the point where we want to explain everything with the viewpoint that “Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars”.

It may very well be that men and women have vastly different emotional and mental viewpoints on life, but it is my experience and contention that those vast differences are actually pretty easy to understand.

The real problem in dating and relating is that there are happy Venutians, sad Venutians, angry Venutians, sarcastic Venutians, intelligent Venutians and stupid Venutians. And of course the same goes for Martians.

The point is there is more personality difference and variation between a happy Venutian and a sad Venutian then there is between Venutians and Martians in general.

The failure to understand personality, in general, accounts for more misunderstanding between men and women than the failure to understand the opposite sex.

When it comes to understanding men and women we all might be a little smarter than we thought.

So when someone says to you that they understand “men” or “women,” that may very well be true, but that doesn’t mean they can give successful dating advice to you.

Successful dating technology requires that you come up with a way to take into account all the different personality types, and all the different situational variables, so that you can meet and relate to people no matter what YOUR OWN personality is like and no matter what the personality type of the person you date or relate to is like.

Now when you take personality variables into account, the first thing you will come up with is that you are not attracted to and do not get along with every type of personality – only a few types.

I have actually come up with a “strategy” that allows you to spot the personality types that you have a 80-90% chance of getting along with in a long term relationship in as little as a few seconds. I won’t go over it here, but if you haven’t read my article entitled, “Feet, Personality Theory, Dating and Relationships”, read it. You will get a quick primer in how to spot a compatible personality in seconds”.

Also read all the information that these dating gurus give you and start applying it situationally to see what works and what doesn’t work for you. After all, it is all useful. Just don’t believe that it will necessarily work on all types of personalities and in all situations.

Don’t buy into having to change your own personality or compromise your values to meet someone and have a successful relationship.  It is totally possible to be you, to maintain your identity and personality and meet someone who is totally compatible with you.

When it comes to relationships and human interaction, women are already a little more observant than men. That is one of those differences between men and women that we all can observe. So if you read the above article and start applying it to other dating gurus’ advice, it will enhance that ability to observe and put you closer to obtaining a true dating technology.

You might want to read some of my materials for men also. Believe it or not, correct dating technology applies almost universally to both men and women.

Mr. L. Rx

(c) 2007 Dating To Relating, Inc.

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