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Feet, Personality Theory, Dating and Relationships

What have feet to do with personality theory and relationships?

Well I am sure there are people who can read every aspect of your feet. Just like palm readers do. I won’t even go into whether or not those are exact sciences or even true.

I’ve never even really looked into it.

But when it comes to relationships, one of the biggest problems is matching people of similar or compatible personality types.

As you may know, if you have been following my writings, I am a keen observer of things. As a young man who was was recently divorced, terrified I went to bars and clubs and through observation over months I eventually learned how to pick up women by personality type. 

On my men’s website, I talk about different personality types that I named “love girls,” “beautiful teases,” and “gradient girls” in many of my writings. Of course those were barroom terms and observations I made 30 years ago.

These days I use more sophisticated personality observation systems. Systems that help me tremendously in my every day life dealing with family, friends, and business associates as well as my love interests and potential love interest.

Most of what I observe, both then and now, has to do with motion and emotion and the actual products people produce.

Now, I’m not here to teach you about personality theory. And in fact, I won’t.

As a subject it is 100 times more complex than meeting, dating and relating to men. And there are others who have already documented workable personality technologies.

But the problem with most dating gurus is related to this personality topic. There are different types of men and different types of women. Different types of people relate differently. If you want to be successful in your dating strategies it is not something you can ignore.

Most dating gurus do ignore personality types, however. They lump all men or all women into one category and talk about what women think or what men feel, when the truth is the variation between personality types is much greater than the variation between the sexes.

In simple words, the reason you don’t feel like you understand men (or women if you are a man) has more to do with not understanding different personality types than it has to do with the differences between the sexes.

When you ignore personality types, “meeting” and “relating” advice becomes a low percentage game – strategies that work only 1 out of 10 times on the general population. (Even though they might work a higher percentage of times in a specific situation where you have an accumulation of a certain personality type – like bars and clubs.)

Observational strategies that take personality type into consideration work 8 or 9 times out of ten on the general population – in every situation. Quite a difference in the success rate. When you master personality types and situational dating and relating methods you become a master of this area. When you can get 8 or 9 out of 10 men that you target, you feel good and confident about your self.

So, as I see it, the problem comes down to this. Even if you are not a master of personality types, if you had a way to meet men who were compatible with your own personality type everything would flow pretty easy. You would pretty much know what to do, know what to say, etc. It would be natural.

The problem is the majority of guys don’t look at personality first, they look at bodies. So women are not attracting guys who are necessarily attracted to and compatible with their own personality. And if a woman does not know how to evaluate the “personality” of the man who is hitting up on her (or the man she targets to meet) then it is no surprise when months, or years latter they break up for incompatibility reasons or because someone is cheating or someone because they are unhappy with the relationship.

And when both women and men do look at personality they get confused. People in general have no systematic way of observing, understanding and predicting human behavior. So, often it takes six months after you meet a person to get through their “façade” or “social” personality before your mate will start showing you who they really are, and other times it is not even six months. It is a major event that occurs – moving in together, marriage, etc. – before your mate let’s down their guard and shows you who they really are.

The reason I became successful picking up women in bars and clubs 30 years ago, was I was able to spot personality types from certain patterns of motion that they exhibited. From that I was able to predict their behavior and apply situational strategies that led them straight into my arms.

Now for illustrative purposes only (I am sure you girls are not interested in “How T0 Pick Up Women In Bars And Clubs)  let me define a few of these personality types, that I originally observed in bars and clubs. They will come in handy for discussion and illustrative purposes later on in this article. Girls you know them, you probably have friends like this or maybe have even been like one of these yourselves.

The LOVE GIRLS – these was the girls who came into the bar usually late (about 11 or 12) and basically they were  looking for sex. They were great looking, confident women. They always walked in alone (NOT with a girl friend) and they walked slowly and sexily through the club.

They looked every man in their path directly in the eyes, but I observed the typical guy would get shy and embarrassed and would look away. He would then gulp down some alcohol and I could see him trying to build up his courage to go back at her. However, the Love Girls would move on and if no guy did the right thing she would walk through the club and then LEAVE. (She wanted sex and wasn’t going to waste time with a bunch of losers. She would just move on to the next club.) The only guys who left with these girls were they guys who would look them straight in the eyes when they confronted him (not look away in fear and gulp down a bear to build up his courage) and ask her to dance. They would dance, get sexy together, then leave together….

The BEAUTIFUL TEASES – These are the girls that flirt with men with a smile or a gaze or a wink from afar, but when the man responds and goes over to hit on them, they eventually go cold and after a while they would totally ignore him. (Only to flirt again the next day, or weekend that she sees him and repeat the cycle.) These teases leave  men totally confused. “After all,” he thinks  “how many women flirt with you, hit up on you? She has to like me, right?”  Well, these girls always had a cadre of frustrated men following them wherever they went, kissing their butts and confused.

I began to notice that the only guys who ever left with these teases, or ended up dating them, were the guys who totally ignored them, who seemed like they could care less.

The GRADIENT GIRL – These were the more common girls in the club whether with or without their friends. They are the girls who refuse to  dance with guys and turn down every guy who asks them. These are the girls who talk to a guy for a few sentences, make a sarcastic remark or put him down some other way then leave. These are the girls who guys wonder “Why is she here?” “Why did she come to the club if she doesn’t want to dance or meet guys?”

Well I was the only guy to leave with these girls and I did it by using something I observed and developed myself – “negative sex talk” – This is talking about not having sex, or not wanting to have sex, or talking about someone else who is into sex as creepy, disgusting, or characterizing them in some other negative way, etc. This is the lowest form of sexual flirtation or interest someone can show because they still ARE talking about sex. And they are talking about it with YOU. – GRADIENT GIRLS responded to Negative Sex talk, NOT Positive Sex Talk (“Do you want to Dance?” or “I noticed how pretty you were…”) A GRADIENT GIRL will Negative Sex Talk with a guy who knows how to do it  for hours….she won’t walk away….and at a certain point she’ll start really liking that guy and flip over to Positive Sex talk, and that’s when he asks her to dance, and that how he flirts and leaves with her….

Now what I am really trying to do with all my writings and giving you observations such as above, is teach men and women how to observe these kind of things for themselves. That is what will make you a master of this area. How you use your observations is up to you. 30 years ago my only interest was to use my observations to “pick up women” in bars and clubs. Today my observations are used to meet the right kind of women, and to hold relationships together with my love interest, family, friends, employees and others in my life.

But sometimes I can give men and women my observations which can act as short cuts to learning – I save you the time and effort it took me to learn it and just give you the bottom line of what to do- and I do when I can.

So here is one of those…

This is a shortcut to personality typing and spotting that you can learn and start applying in only a few minutes from now.

It is a way you can look at a man’s physical features from 10 or 20 feet away and determine a personality type in as little as a few seconds and know with a high degree of probability whether he is the right personality type for you or not.

But first a little history…

About two years ago I was visiting my chiropractor. I had an injury to one of my legs which kind of turned one of my feet outward. My natural feet angles where pretty much straight on – what I call 12 noon. If you were to look at a clock both my feet would be pointing to 12 noon on the clock dial. By definition there was no angle between my feet. They were parallel when I walked.

Because of my injury to my left leg, however, my left foot was pointing to about “6 minutes to 12 on a clock face” and my right foot was pointing at 12 noon when I walked.

I asked my chiropractor about this and I made a comment that I assumed that most people must walk with their feet pointing to 12 noon. He said that they didn’t and then he said something VERY, VERY INTERESTING. He said that the angle of the feet was controlled by a muscle and organ that had something to do with the emotion of “fear.”

Now, this interested me to no end, as the emotion of fear is something that I had observed and definitely played a role in personality types and typing.

I discussed it a little more with him, but in the end, I left his office with a hypothesis to test, “That the relative angle between the feet is a measure of the emotion of fear within a person.”

Now, “fear” is a very important emotion when it comes to personality typing. No “fear” makes a man or woman very brave. A little “fear” makes him or her conservative, a lot of “fear” makes him or her afraid and even more “fear” and he or she is terrified. If an angry person has “fear” mixed in with their anger, that angry person becomes “covert” (backstabbing – as he or she is afraid to attack you from the front) rather than “overt” (face-to-face) in his or her anger.

Interesting this thing called “fear.”

For example my “love girls” of the barroom days had “no fear.” In fact they were so brave they scared men.

The “beautiful teases,” were very afraid, they acted brave (apparent flirt) but then ran away at the first sign of real interest.

Those “gradient girls,” they just had a little fear – afraid men in bars were all just a bunch of jerks.

The strategies that I evolved to pick up these different types of women were pretty much molded to handle their different types or levels of relative “fear.”

Interesting….

After my talk with the chiropractor, I went back to the clubs and looked at a few examples of these “barroom” personality types with respect to this angle between the feet.

First let me give you a few definitions in case you don’t know what degrees and angles and other geometric terms are.

 

Let us use the face of a clock for an example. Look at the big hand and the little hand. They both start at the same point in the center of the dial, but the tips of the big hand and little hand point to different places. The two lines formed by the big hand and the little hand create an angle. The angle between them is measured geometrically in degrees.

A circle has 360 degrees. So in the clock example every minute would be a change of 6 degrees. So if we use 12 noon or 12 o’clock, the two hands are parallel and there is no angle, or 0 degrees.

When it is 12:05 on the clock, the hands create what is called a 30 degree angle. When it is 12:10  the two hands create a 60 degree angle. At 12:15 the two hands create a 90 degree angle and at 12:20 the two hands create a 120 degree angle.

Now the angles between human feet don’t get much wider than that. (though I have seen a few 12:12s ) So for our purposes let’s stop the geometry lesson here.

For our purposes though, I usually don’t refer to the angles between the feet as 12:15 etc. as one has to turn one’s head to see the angle correctly. If I am using the clock analogy, I usually refer to the feet positions as – left foot from 1 to 10 minutes before 12 noon or 12 noon if straight — and the right foot from 1 to 10 minutes after noon or 12 noon if straight — (i.e. left foot 5 minutes before noon, right foot five minutes after noon).

Let’s continue.

Now “Love Girls” tended to have perfectly straight feet (both feet pointed at 12 noon). Gradient girls typically have an angle between the feet of about 12 to 24 degrees  – left foot (1 or 2 minutes before noon) right foot (1 or 2 minutes after noon).

The beautiful teases typically had a angle of between 72 to 120 degrees between their feet – left foot (6 -10 minutes before noon) right foot (6-10 minutes after noon.)

Now when I say usually or tended I mean about 8 or 9 times out of ten. Or a correlation of 80-90 percent with the personality type. Now for those of you who know anything about correlation that is pretty high. That means you could make predictions about personality types and be right 8 or 9 times out of ten.

Interesting…

Does that mean everyone with straight feet are “love girls”? No. It doesn’t. No more than if I said college professors all tend to have a high IQ, would it mean that everyone with a high IQ was a college professor. Love Girls are just a small subset of people with straight feet.

What it means is that people with straight feet have little or no fear. Thus you will find them doing all kinds of things that exhibit little fear. They might be the kind of people that start their own business, or work on commission, or take other job or career risks that others might be to afraid to do. They might be the kind of people that will talk to anyone, share their real thoughts and opinions easily,  and say all kinds of personal things that others would be afraid to say out of embarrassment.

It could mean however, that if a girl with straight feet ever gets herself in a position where she is terribly horny, without a boyfriend, and the only thing she can think of is going to a bar with the intention of picking up some guy to get laid, well then she would most likely go about it like a “Love Girl” and NOT like a “Beautiful tease” or “Gradient Girl.”

But be careful how you interpret these things or it could get you in trouble.

Remember, feet angles give you the relative amount of fear. That is all we know for sure. Everything else is a correlation.

So let’s talk about fear for a second. There is situationally appropriate fear and generalized fear. Everyone – all personality types – should have situationally appropriate fear. So we all might feel some fear walking down some bad street with gangsters and hoodlums all around us late at night. We all might feel some fear trusting our life to some doctor performing an operation where only 50% of the people survive.

It is generalized fear – non situationally appropriate fear – that tells us more about personality type. Being shy and afraid to talk to women is a form of fear. Being afraid to talk to a bunch of people in front of a public speaking class is a form of fear. Being afraid to invest one’s money in a business venture is a form of fear. Being afraid to leave one’s nine to five job security to start your own business is a form of fear. Being afraid of the dark is a form of fear. Being afraid of the unknown is a form of fear. Being afraid of what your friends might think about something you say or do is a form of fear. Being afraid of looking ridiculous in front of your friends is a form of fear.

It is these generalized fears and non-situationally appropriate fears that determine personality type.

You see the “Love Girl” is confident and fearless. She isn’t afraid of men, so when she wants to get laid she walks into a bar knowing she’s sexy and knowing she can intimidate men. She just looks every man in the eye because she wants a confident fearless man – just like her.

The gradient girl is not as confident and fearless. She is afraid that most of the guys in bars are jerks. So she approaches the situation with that bias. She is not so afraid that she will run away from men who will approach her, but she will banter with them and just say, “No” when it comes to the real “pick up” moment because her fear biases her towards the viewpoint that men in this situation should be feared.

The “beautiful tease” is deathly afraid of men. She is in the bar because she is trying to overcome her fears. She is beautiful and has learned that men will respond to her, so she flirts to get attention and attraction which make her feel good. But as soon as some guy gets really interested, she runs away. She is deathly afraid and can’t confront it. It takes a guy who understand this and makes her feel totally safe and in control to seduce her. Such was the technique that I worked out 30 years ago.

So how do we use this “angle of the feet” observation to help you girls with your dating and relating problems.

Well there is one giant maxim that I am going to give you in a moment, but first let me say the way you use this is to make observations for yourself. I’m  not here to give you lessons in personality theory. Just know that there are different personality types that correlate with the “angles between the feet.”

Start by observing the angle of your own feet. Then observe the feet of the people that you know and observe similarities and differences in personality. Start out with major differences, Like people with straight feet versus people with very wide feet. See which angles you get along with best.

There is no right or wrong here, or good or bad. There is just compatibility.

So HERE is the GIANT MAXIM. (a truth or basic principle)

MAXIM:1 – You should not get into a relationship with anyone who is more than 2-3 minutes on a clock face or 12- 24 degrees (geometrically) different than your own “angle between the feet.”  People who are more than 2-3 minutes or 12-24 degrees different from you are going to have personality types that are too different from you to achieve total compatibility with.

Remember, however, that this is only true 80-90% of the time. There will be exceptions to the rule. WHY? Because people have “façade” or “social” feet angles just like they have “façade” or “social personalities.” 

For example, people who are in the acting or modeling industry may be trained to walk with their feet totally straight (12 noon.) So you may have a “beautiful tease” that has straight feet because she was trained to walk that way not because she has “no fear!”  Get it.

People have accidents to their legs and feet and back etc. that can change the angle between their feet and give you a false interpretation.  Usually however it is one foot that is out, not both, but I have met people with both out as results of accidents.

MAXIM 2: – If you are in a relationship with someone who has an angle between their feet more than 2-3 minutes on a clock face or 12- 24 degrees (geometrically) different than your own “angle between the feet,” and if you get along beautifully, than forget about it. You are probably in that area of the 10-20% exceptions that don’t correlate. Ultimately you have to observe the person in front of you and not their feet.

However, if you are having trouble with this person in a relationship, then observe their exact angle and make a point of meeting other people with that angle and talking to them. Talk to your guy friends with a similar angle. There is a personality type here, get to know and understand it. They are different from you. They don’t think like you do. So throw all your assumptions out the window and get to know the personality type in front of you. 

If you can do that then you will be able to improve the understanding between each other in the relationship. The closer they are in relation to your own “angle between the feet” however, the better chance you have for long term survival of your relationship.

WHY DID I GIVE YOU THIS DATA?

This is one of those observations that took me years to observe and figure out that you can benefit from immediately.

Stick with guys (and girl friends) with similar feet angles and you will find you get along better with them.

Does this mean that we shouldn’t have friends with different feet angles? NO it doesn’t. It just means for those real close relationships that you can choose – boyfriend, girlfriend, boss, best friend, etc., you would get along better and stand a better chance of achieving a long term successful relationship with someone who is within 2-3 minutes of your own foot angle.

Remember also there are different kinds of relationships. Some buddy or boyfriend you see once a week doesn’t have to be as compatible with you as someone you live with or work with every day.  Use this data to qualify those kinds of situations.

Make some observations of your own. Look at your own feet angle. Look at the people that you get along with best. What is their feet angle? Look at the people that you definitely don’t like. What is their feet angle? You will discover trends. You might notice that 6 out of 10 people that you really like have feet angles within 2-3 minutes of yours and that 3 out of 10 people that you don’t like at all have feet angles within 5-10 minutes from yours.

But feet angle is immediately noticeable. It gives you a quick 80-90% reliable method of sizing up people fast. It also let’s you see through facades and “social” personalities as most people don’t pay attention to feet and don’t try to fake the angle of their feet.

Once you start making observations you can associate with the various feet angles, you will be able to predict people with relative accuracy (80-90% right).

Now as a final note I want to say, “Please don’t believe me. Don’t assume what I am telling you is true. Go observe for yourself.”

Look at all of your friends and relatives. Correlate the angles with their personality types. Go to a busy street corner or a mall and start observing these feet angles.  A simple test or computation is the percent of perfectly straight feet (both pointing to 12 noon). Count the number of people with straight feet out of every 10 that walk by or every 100.

Do it by sexes. Do it by age groups. Do it by races. You will see some interesting things.

Here are some of my observations after 1000s of observations.

In Los Angeles/Beverly Hills where I made most of my observations, on the average:

1-2 men out of 10 have straight feet.

2-4 women out of 10 have straight feet.

8-9 out of 10 children under 8-10 have straight feet.

The above was the same for black, white and brown Americans but oddly

5 out of 10 Chinese Americans have straight feet. (didn’t look at sex differences)

In Japan (Tokyo)

7- 8 out of 10 women have straight feet

1-2 out of 10 men have straight feet.

Walking or standing may be different for different people. Walking is a better determination, but how one stands can also be a clue to hidden tendencies if it is greatly different.

If you make any interesting observations about any of this please tell me about them at one of my various blogs or forums at www.DatingToRelating.com 

 

Copyright © 2007 Mr L.Rx



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