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Dating To Relating For Women

Dating To Relating For Women

Well you know that DatingToRelating.com is primarily a website for men. The idea was to educate men to be better,well…,men! But the hard cold facts is that 40% of the people visiting my site are women and 68% of the people typing in “dating advice” in their search engine are women (Interestingly 55% of the people typing the words “dating tips” are men.)

You know, I give advice to women all the time. Practically every hot women I have ever dated has problems with men who like them and won’t go away. Either that or they have had some problem in the past that they still don’t know how to resolve and have attention on.

So let’s talk a little about women and dating and relationships.

What do women need to know about men? Well based on my experience there are a number of things that women consistently get wrong or do not understand about men particularly in the areas of when to end it with a man and about being friends with men.

So, girls, here are the basic things you need to know to protect yourself and your integrity. Now keep in mind these are generalities. I am always writing about situational variables, but the following are so predominantly true that for lack of a situational understanding, you would be very safe to rely on the following:

1) When it comes to relationships and dating and relating the first thing you need to know about men is that men are idiots. A small percentage of men aren’t – maybe 20-25%. And usually by the time they are thirty-five or older, men start to grow up and get smarter, but some NEVER grow up.

2) Men can’t be “friends only.” Don’t fool yourself. It’s something on the order of ninety-nine percent who can’t to one percent who can. It is much greater than the idiot factor.

Women can be “friends only,” and often desire to be friends with a guy who wants more. The man agrees to be “friends only,” only to blow up three months, six months, or a year later and announce that he can’t take it anymore. He is in love and always has been. He can’t stand being friends. The woman of course is shocked because she was cool with being “friends only” and was enjoying it.

The only guys who can truly be friends with a woman are guys who reject you and aren’t really interested in you.

3) Men have three distinct ways of treating women: a) One way for women they like and are really attracted to – for girlfriend, marriage type relationships. b) Another way for women they aren’t attracted to enough for marriage but are attracted to enough to have sex with, and c) a third way for women they have no sexual attraction towards.

a)      Women they like – Most men, when they really like a women will usually do the butt-kissing routine and will do anything your little soul desires. Men typically  become “wimps” and  “pussys” when they are naturally in love. There is a more emotionally mature breed of man (the kind I am trying to create with my website) who will be a gentleman and treat you with respect and communication rather than becoming a “pussy”, but they are few and far between.

b)      Women they don’t really like but would have sex with – These are the kinds of relationships that men usually end up in. Men are very driven by sex, so they will typically compromise their integrity and settle for a relationship with someone they wouldn’t really marry just so they can get some sex. The idea that men don’t want to commit comes from the fact that this type of relationship is the most prevalent one. It isn’t that men can’t commit. It is that men in this kind of relationship can’t commit to you – they are really just in it for the sex.

c)      Women they are not attracted to at all – When a man isn’t interested to a woman at all sexually, he is capable of being anywhere from true friends, to disinterested or bored with you, to perhaps a little mean, viscous or cruel towards you.

But make a note. For some guys this category doesn’t exist. For some guys practically all women fall into (a) and (b) above. Occasionally you will find a guy like me who puts about 90% of women into this category.  Anyway, if you really want men friends, find a guy who has no attraction to you whatsoever, make friends with him on a personality vector and you will have a guy who can actually be friends with you.

But make sure that  you are not a “borderline” case because if you are and he starts to like you for your personality, you might jump up a category or so in his mind.

4) Men will feign friendship, liking you, and being nice to you to get sex. This is just an expansion of number 3(b) above, but it is so preeminent that it deserves a category of its own. Men don’t really mature between the ages of 16 and 35 when it comes to relationships, but they do get smarter at how to get sex from women. They learn what to say and do to get a women to give them sex.

The 25 year old male is just as sex driven as the 16 year old boy. But the 25 year old male has learned what to say and do to trick you into thinking that he really likes you so you will give him sex.

Men at these ages also become very skilled at taking advantage of women that they know like them. When a man can tell a woman likes him and she falls into that second category,(which is acceptable for sex only) he will lie and say anything to her that she wants to hear just to get the sex. WOMEN BEWARE!

Learning about personality types and social personality is a must for the woman who wants to keep her own integrity and see through the social veneer that a man who really just wants sex will proffer you.

5) Men will act much nicer to a woman they are interested in than one they are not.  Men are great actors. As explained above they learn at young ages what to say and do to get sex from women. Men don’t mind lying for sex.

Check out a man. Check out his friends. See if a “friendly” guy even has any male friends. If he doesn’t, BEWARE! And if he does, check out his friends. If they are all A******s then chances are he is too!

Now here are what I believe to be “No Brainers”. If you consider yourself an upbeat classy woman and you are looking for the same in a man, then if a man has or does any of the following, DROP HIM LIKE A ROCK. He is NOT and will never be classy.

a)      If a man ever hits you or slaps you or even threatens you in a rough way – leave him immediately.

b)   If a man is over 20 years old living in the USA and he doesn’t have a car – drop him like a hot potato. Men are supposed to be the providers. If he can’t even provide for himself, he is not much of a man.

c)   If a man tries to move into YOUR apartment because he doesn’t have a job or a place to stay – drop him immediately. Again men are supposed to be the providers. Don’t ever support a man. It may seem cool for a while but in the long run, you will regret it.

d)      If a man plays with you like you are one of his buddies – drop him instantly. If he can’t make the distinction between men and women, he is a real idiot.

e)      If a man doesn’t have any men friends or his men friends are a bunch of a**holes – drop him immediately. There is a reason men (or good men) don’t like him.

f)   If a guy is jealous or possessive for no reason – drop him NOW! When people are jealous or paranoid for no reason at all, they are projecting their own moral code on you. They are saying, “If I were in that situation I would be cheating on her, so I know she is cheating on me.” Want to know if I guy would ever cheat on you? This is your biggest clue.

g)   If a guy wants a committed relationship after one date – run for the hills!!! This guy is NUTS! And even if he is not acting like it now, you’ll find out the hard way sooner or later if you continue with him.

h)  If a guy walks up to you on the street and tells you how hot your are – well just mosey on away..then run for the hills!

i)  And of course, if he is married or in a relationship, DROP him the minute you find out. This is the biggest no brainer of all. If he cheats on her, he WILL cheat on you. Don’t buy into his sad story of how bad she treats him and what a great guy he is. He is a liar and a cheat. It is all bulls**t. Don’t find out the hard way. Just drop him.

If you want to learn how to spot and pick out a guy whose personality is 80-90 percent compatible with yours, read my article entitled,  “Feet, Personality Theory, Dating and Relationships”.

You’ll be glad you did!

Mr. L. Rx

(c) 2007 Dating To Relating, Inc.

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